How music helped a rapper cope with BPD
When Wayne was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) he had to “learn how to rewire his brain”. This meant finding new ways to process his thoughts and fears to help him cope with this mental health condition. This was when he turned to music.
“At the age of 28 I came to the realisation that something wasn’t right with me, I was hurting and hurting everyone around me,” says Wayne from Bristol.
Learning to rewire my brain
“The woman that diagnosed me, I was telling her about my lyrics that mentioned this demon and she said that was me naming it. I had to accept the fact that I had a mental illness. I learnt how to rewire my brain and music was the biggest thing that helped me throughout all of that.”
As a youngster, Wayne always felt different from the other children and a bit of a loner. He moved around a lot and, by the age of 11, he had lived in several different places and attended 10 different schools. It was a chaotic time but he found solace in drawing, playing music and writing poems and stories.
“I remember I had an assignment at school where I had to write a short story. I ended up writing around 30 pages! The teacher was so impressed that he got every teacher in the school to read it. Another time I had to write a letter to the Lord Mayor about the environment and he was so impressed that he invited me and three friends to meet him.”
Later, after he was diagnosed with BPD and learned more about the condition, he found what he wrote about changed. His lyrics were “always dark” before but when he was diagnosed he started to feel more content.
“I became an all around better human being and it reflected in my music.”
Wayne now uses his music to encourage people with BPD or suspect that they have BPD to reach out for help. After sending his music in to BBC Upload he was invited onto the show to share his story.
His new album Broken Crayons is centred around mental health and he wants people who listen to take from it that anything’s possible even with a mental illness.
“I just want to inspire people, to let them know they’re not alone and to not feel ashamed. If you feel that you’re battling with your thoughts then you need to go and seek help, because that was the best thing that I’ve done.”
Follow Wayne on Instagram at @wayneleewebster
Subscribe to Wayne on YouTube.