05 Jul 2023

Struggling with depression

I’ve been suffering (diagnosed) with depression for over a decade now, and its continually getting worse.

I’ve been medicated for most of that time, but keep having to change meds after a period of time due to them stopping working.

I’ve been getting worse again recently, and I’ve been moved up to the max dose of my current meds, and looking to try and find ways that I can help myself. Writing a blog might be the way?

My marriage broke down, and that’s when I was diagnosed. Did the depression cause the breakdown? Or did the marriage cause the depression? I’ll never know.

I got into a new relationship with a man who had children, I became step mum and did everything for them, sadly that relationship became toxic, abusive and controlling (not from me!) I kept the house and they moved on with their lives. At the same time I suffered a really bad injury to my spine, which stopped one of my main hobbies, working out.

Then we hit lockdown…… the hardest time ever to be alone. But there I was, like many people, struggling to lift their head of the pillow every morning.

4 stone later, I’m here, I’m still alive, I’ve had traumatic times in between lockdown and now, but I’m getting bored of my own thoughts and slumping down further talking about it.

I’ll try again another day, maybe getting this off my chest in a safe space will be beneficial?