Insomnia – It Can Keep You Awake At Night
I have had insomnia now for about five years and it’s been around so long it’s starting to feel like the norm. But it definitely doesn’t get any easier, especially at night.
Having insomnia, for me, can feel like the night is the loneliest time and place to be. I feel I am the only one awake and it feels so daunting. One thing having insomnia has taught me is that I am absolutely my own worst critic. Right in the middle of the night when all is dark and quiet and I am wide awake, like a huge procession come all the anxious thoughts and memories.
So come the morning the last thing I feel is positive and fresh and ready to start the day!
And then…… the guilt. The guilt of feeling tired, exhausted, grumpy. So the day goes by and, get ready, here comes the night and here we go again!
Last night was a wide awake night and it got me thinking. One of the worst things about not sleeping is the pressure we put on ourselves in order to try to get to sleep. “Come on, you get up in a few hours, you must go to sleep now!”. But that pressure doesn’t make things any easier in fact it can make things worse.
This morning I realised just how harsh a critic I am to myself and how wrong that is.
The truth is, it isn’t just me. It isn’t just us. We are not on our own. So many people have sleep problems. We shouldn’t be harsh on ourselves. In fact we need to be far more kinder and understanding.
So tonight, if I am awake, and the feelings of anxiety appear I am going to remind myself so what? It’s ok, I am doing my best and that is good enough.
And if I can’t sleep, no pressure.