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02 Oct 2019 , by leahmartine

Anxiety sucks

I’ve been through absolute hell and back with anxiety and depression – it really has taken over a whole lot of my life.

I can’t remember when I first started getting depression or anxiety, I must have been quite young and it just progressively got worse over the years, for a number of reasons that I’m now aware of. I’ve had therapy, taken medication, some worked and some didn’t. I felt numb but so emotional, weak and unable to control my thoughts. It would make me feel (and still does sometimes) like I couldn’t leave the house, like I wasn’t capable of anything, like everyone was against me, like I wasn’t good enough, the list goes on.

The worst for me however, was definitely social anxiety. I’ve always had good friends don’t get me wrong, but I was so shy and timid when I was younger, I was picked on a little.. and I never had the backbone to prove my worth, if that makes sense. I especially felt insignificant around girls, I felt ugly and like they were all so much prettier than me. This feeling lasted years and just made my social anxiety worse, as I didn’t know why or how to deal with it, or why nobody else around me felt like I did. I felt like I wasn’t good enough to be friends with anyone – seriously.

I actually wet myself a couple of times in primary school, as I was too scared to get up in front of the whole class and go to the toilet.. HOW ridiculous!

But I mainly want to share with you how I’ve managed to get through a lot of these battles and take control of my mind to think with a different perspective, the smallest things make the biggest difference when it comes to your mind – and trust me I’m still learning so much about myself in this respect.

Everyone’s different, and I can’t just tell you what to do and BOOM it’s gonna work – but I have a very complex mind, almost like I’m fighting against myself a lot of the time and what I’m sharing with you manages to work so…

BREATHE – you’re still alive, listen to yourself breathing.. You’re here, that’s all that matters.

MEDITATE – I can’t stress enough how much this has helped me, it’s like cleaning your mind. You wouldn’t go a day without showering, so why go a day without cleaning your mind? It’s the most important part.

READ – inspirational books, listen to podcasts about mind control. I would seriously advise the watching The Secret, it’s on Netflix and was pretty much the beginning of me realising that I’M in control, nobody else.

LEAN – on family, on friends, your partner. A few of my close friends don’t necessarily get mental health, but they have listened and tried to understand – and that’s enough. Talk, talk about how you FEEL, talk about everything you possibly can to get it off your chest, people will listen to you. This really does do a lot for your mind, more than you would imagine.

SEEK – what you really want in life.. Seriously just concentrate on things that make you smile, even if it’s one small thing a day, DO IT.

EXERCISE – in whatever style at whatever level you like. This is obviously good for the body and helps you concentrate on something other than your thoughts.

EAT – well, eating well affects your mood so much, just eat organic, eat your GREENS and PROTEIN.

DRINK – less alcohol, more water.

SOCIALISE – with friends, you don’t have to do this constantly, just at your own pace, whatever works for you. Listen to good music with them, talk about things you LOVE and adventures you wanna go on, don’t moan and bitch. I know it’s a battle just getting out of the house, but when you’re there, it distracts you and helps you feel loved.

SELF AFFIRMATIONS – I’ve saved this ’til last as it’s the most affective. It’s taken me a while for it to really come naturally but it’s so worth it. So.. Say to yourself EVERY morning, how grateful you are for 10 things in your life – say this and really try to feel the gratitude. If you’re in a situation that has made you feel negative, flip your thoughts around, for example: “This Uber is going to make me so late” – try calming your frustration and just saying to yourself “Even though the traffics bad, I’m still grateful I have the luxury of someone driving me to where I need to be.”

I know the above may seem a bit weird to some of you right now, but it’s not weird – It’s exactly how we should be and the only reason we’re not is because we have been ‘programmed’ since birth, to think and act in a certain way and many, many situations have affected your perception and actions along the way, making you the person you are today.

Current affairs and society don’t help at all, but hey – we can’t control ANY of this, so you just have to find a way to be happy in your own world – nothing else matters.

So all 10 things I’ve listed WILL and I guarantee will change your mindset – mixed together it’s like a magic potion of fulfilment. So if you’re seeking to change the way you think, change the way you see the world – then just give it a go, what have you got to lose?

I’m going to be writing more about mental health and mindset training soon!

Thanks for reading,

Love Leah xx


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