Poem: Depersonalisation
I feel a bit dizzy,
disoriented. I think my
mind is falling off the table.
I put a hand out to catch
it but it doesn’t roll, no.
Just sits there, still, with that
“You’re gonna lose me, kid!”
look.
Am I hearing that or is it
just a thought? F***! Voices?
Seeing things, too?
As soon as you question
the sanity it’s all sucked from
your cavities
by that lapping black dog.
Quenched now, he bares his
teeth…
and then you’re
somewhere else.
A paranoid heart
jumps in to the space where
my soul used to be,
and splashes, heavy boots on,
in a puddle
of fear until my guts
are covered.
There’s nothing left to
be but a ghost, and all
the others
seem like they’re on tv.
I need to rest.
I close my eyes to get some
but dripping nightmares
wet my eyelids.
I sweat and panic for 6 hours
while my loved ones sleep
and an app tells me,
condescendingly,
to stay with my breath.