Wishing you a very warm welcome to the forum!
I try not to be overly blunt on this forum (as we are all fragile humans that have taken a few knocks and hits over the years), but there are occasions when words need to be conveyed clearly.
"It is time to put an end to this .... -
My advice would be quite straightforward but it might cause your family to fall off their chairs tonight at dinner time. This is what I'd recommend... (you might want a glass of wine for courage!)
At the dinner table, possibly when people have nearly finished eating you say, "I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've got an announcement to make", there is going to be some changes...
. There will be family time when we as a family spend time together without my Mum (look directly at your husband when you say this), and there are going to be times when I spend time with my Mum. There will also be other times when we do somethings with my Mum. But from now on these times are going to be separate, controlled and defined such that as a family we have the time we need to be a happy family unit, without my Mum being with us!
At an appropriate moment, you call your Mum and explain that you will make a certain period during the week when you will call her or see her explaining that your family needs space. Making it clear that you are not cutting her out, but merely need sometime with your husband and daughter alone. If she starts popping round uninvited then explain that you will see her or call her on xyz.
Does the above feel like an impossible task ?
There might be some kicking, screaming and upset but you need to remain strong in taking back control of the situation. This is your immediate family, you need to look after them as they are your primary concern -
Wishing you good luck - please be strong and if necessary commence little steps to address this issue.