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On the verge of giving up

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Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2021 3:07 pm

On the verge of giving up

Postby skullblits » Thu Jul 08, 2021 3:48 pm

Soo my story is very long I'll try and compress it.

My childhood was rather bad. Mum dad fighting arguing. Then getting a discorve and never seeing my dad again.
Then brother got in trouble with paramilitary (I'm from northen irelqnd) we had to leave our home. Brother had a breakdown over it.

Then me mum meeting a guy. Which then turned her into a alcoholic for 4 or 5 years. And witnessed him beat her up inhad to rub to a neighbour for help police and ambulance. I was about 14 or 12.she dropped the charges took him back and had a big argument with us about it. She wised and got rid of him after awhile after that.

Then her mental health and physical health take a bad turn. Which left me to basically care her for.
Years of verbal abuse arguments and a few attacks and 1 attempt to kill me while she was unwell.
Multiple times the police had to be called because she went crazy. But was never sectioned after any.

Then she went off on the rails and was sectioned and diagnosed with Bypolar. She always suffered from chronic depression aswell.

I myself have a learning disability and moderate learning problems. I've been looking after my mother for the better part of 12 years with little or no support. However things wernt always bad all the time.

But upto recent events. She had a breakdown down again. 21st of March. I had to phone the police because she was throwing stuff out on the street. They made me give back the house keys and then left for a different emergency.
I've been staying with my GF from Then. And I've had nothing but problems.

My old GP wouldn't give me any information about my conditions to help with help with homeless application
No one seemed willing to help me. I finally got in touch with the YMCA and they have helped .
I've changed GP and they gave me the evidence for my conditions.

I've always struggled with my own mental health. One time when she was sectioned I cut my wrist
But mainly have been very depressed alot of times
My anxiety has been really bad my whole life.
My mum always encouraged me not to get help for it or they will treat me differently.

I decided to get help with my new GP I'm now on antidepressants.
Also went for a mental healthassessment on the 4h of June. Today my GP got the letter from them.

I wasn't diagnosed with anything. Just said that because of my learning problems I struggle to cope with this stuff.

So years of depression and anxiety problems attempted suicide and thoughts of killing myself. And yet I haven't been diagnosed with nothing. I mean that has baffled me and others who I've been talking too.

My mood is very low. I'm angry and upset with the lack of diagnosis. And nothing seems to be working out for me

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