Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2021 6:10 pm
So one week ago today I left my narcissist ex, I packed my shit and moved out, I miss him so so much he promised me the world, we we’re going to get married he told me he loved me literally every day many times a day, we were only together for a year but I knew him longer and I fell for him because his “bad boy” image and I knew he was seeing other people whilst I was living with him but still I loved this man after all he begged me to move into his flat so how could he possibly cheat right? Wrong!! I knew he was sleeping around but chose to ignore the anxiety I felt everyday because I loved him and he said he loved me too, he’d often say how can I cheat when I live with him and I knew his whereabouts 24/7 but he was, a narcissist will “hoover” keep their exes on Facebook etc as they need a “supply” trust me I’ve watched enough YouTube videos on this and it all makes sense, so bottom line is now I’m living back in my flat, no job, no money, no friends cause this man was my entire world!! I just cry all day I can’t cope anymore!! I’ve blocked him on WhatsApp and have deleted all social media xx
Re: Narcissist ex
Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2021 3:25 am
I’m new to this site. Hope you get this ok? I’m not new though to the narcissist ex husband who is not enjoying life unless he’s making mine shit.
I moved out as you have, I took my 3 kids (one with him) and my massive pregnant belly (also his) and I left my entire world as I knew it.
We’d just purchased my mum and dads house. My childhood home. Where I grew up and wanted to show my kids the same life I had. That was my main reason. And it was 4 bedrooms. Meant my eldest had a big room with a desk etc. Something he never has as he was in a tiny box room.
I left. I took nothing except the kids things. I had to buy everything. But I tell you now. As soon as I did. The world was different again.
Now he’s a narcissist yeah… And evil. And selfish. So I’m not going to shower this with roses. He’s given me crap for the last 5 1/2 years. This is because we have kids. We were married. It’s a massive complicated thing. That’s what he’s clung to. He (and his new biggest fan) his now fiancé, control when I can have any form of a social life. He doesn’t have the kids consistent. Never has. And he has had holidays in Thailand. 2 in one year. Plus with her kids. But never had one single day off to have his own kids. His new thingy lady also is like his double. Vile. I’ve had abuse from her also.
Even the judge in court said most dads beg mums for more. And he’s got that, but he isn’t taking it… this was after he applied for FULL custody. Made my life hell. And for good measure. The daughter I had before him, her dad did the same thing. And my ‘new’ “man” was there “supporting” Through it all. Watching my life fall around me. Worrying myself sick. He took notes and copied the whole thing.
I’m pretty close to be honest to giving up but somehow seem to go that bit more.
All I’m saying is that, I know you’re feeling absolutely awful. I totally understand that I was the same. Somehow even after 5 years of abuse from him, and questioning baby being his. I still had an emotional breakdown when baby was born.
I was in the hospital listening to fathers telling their partner how proud of her he was. Crying my god foresaken eyes out. Wishing it were different.
I replied to you because I just got a glimpse of my life before the kids and wedding. Etc. But I know there were problems from 6 months in. I still carried on hoping he loved me. Hoping things were just because he had this or that going on.
So my sister died the December 18th. One week before Xmas. We’d got together in the October. I wish to heaven I could have had someone who really wanted to comfort me. Because he didn’t care. Not really and I guess I was blindsided because of the fact I’d lost someone who I just adored and miss every day.
I don’t even think I have told you even a fraction of the crap I’ve been through with this man. Don’t do that if you feel it’s wrong. Your body is a wonderful thing. Powerful. Your mind, your instincts. It’s the same principle as ‘you are what you eat’ Kinda! Actually it’s def like that. And you said his bad boy status had its part. Totally agree. Same. But you should be treated good.
It hurts like hell. I know it does. But I’ve been damaged to the point I don’t know what the point to being with someone is. Because all I’ve ever experienced is hurt. 2 serious relationships previously to this one. One kid from each. It’s been bad. But I think. ‘It is what it is’ That’s my overall mantra!
And I always tell myself it could be worse I could be going through.
I never recognised the signs until it was too late. I’m not saying your situation is the same it’s not. But I just feel it’s like I’m listening to me way back. I started with nothing again. I moved back into tiny council house. I had to get things on credit or second hand. But it’s not impossible. Never again he could say ‘he paid for this or that’
It’s fixable. It’s hard but it’s a journey well worth the struggle. I hope you’re feeling ok. If you want to reply of course you’re more than welcome. I’ll respond to you anytime.