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Break ups and crippling panic attacks *suicide trigger*

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p
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon May 10, 2021 11:52 am

Break ups and crippling panic attacks *suicide trigger*

Postby p » Mon May 10, 2021 12:22 pm

I’m hoping someone with similar experiences can share any advice on how to get through my crazy emotional swings as a result of a bad break up with my long term girlfriend.

I was never an ‘emotional’ person (i.e. I never cried in front of people) but the break up was the first time I was upset in front of anyone in my adult life. 3 weeks on and I am experience horrible swings in my emotions that I cannot control. I feel like most of the week I can get along fine, filling my days with distractions.

However this all gets turned on it’s head in a matter of minutes.
This weekend I spent all day with friends, watching sport and drinking beer (note – I was not drunk). I felt fine. However on the train home the sudden realisation that I was going home to an empty flat and empty bed destroyed me in seconds. I began weeping uncontrollably on the train, thankful that my face mask was hiding it.

Suicide has never crossed my mind as an option, however I did something stupid as I waiting for my connecting train. I decided to stand very close to the edge of the platform in the hope the train would pass very close and scare me. Maybe I also wanted someone to see and come and help me.

I got home safe, but broke down as soon as I arrived. I called my ex, as I have in previous breakdowns, at 1am. She is very understanding and I am grateful she is there to help in times of need, but I know this is not healthy for me given she is the one that broke my heart and destroyed my dreams of a future life with her (we were looking at a house to buy just months prior).
I said I will get help. These dark times are terrifying me but I don’t feel calling anyone but my ex in those crisis times. I just sat there crying and breathing heavily, hardly saying anything for 45 minutes. What would Samaritans or Mind volunteers do in that time?

I suppose I just wanted to share my feelings and ask for any tips of how to get through this and manage my emotions – especially what to do in those early stages of a crisis. I don’t want to be on that platform edge again

P

lol76
Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Re: Break ups and crippling panic attacks *suicide trigger*

Postby lol76 » Tue May 11, 2021 10:44 pm

Hi there

I'm sorry you have found your break up at struggle I think that may be the real reason you are having such breakdowns as you are trying to process the end of the relationship. Please speak to a counsellor who can help you understand why you react as you do and they can help you to hopefully heal in a more positive way. I've reached out to the Samaritans on 2 occasions when I could feel myself heading for a crisis point and I did find them very helpful. They simply listened while I cried and ranted while they helped me to calm down and weirdly helped take the sting out of the moment. Give them a go as they truly are just a friendly listening ear...they didnt tell me what to do or make judgements they were just simply there. Good luck.

epitaph
Posts: 119
Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2020 12:00 pm

Re: Break ups and crippling panic attacks *suicide trigger*

Postby epitaph » Wed May 12, 2021 8:33 pm

Hi P,

Welcome to the forum.

If you need to call the Samaritans or another support organisation, just go right ahead and don't give it a second thought ok. Lol76's advice was correct.

A few things, there are people here who are able to relate to what you are going through and how you are feeling right now... Please focus on remaining and being "safe" at all times. What do I mean ? Well, ensuring that you don't take any unnecessary risks of any sort. As an example, never ever go anywhere near the platform edge, as this is not a place that you either belong or should go near at this time. Secondly try to put together an activity schedule as to what you will be doing in your free time when you are not at work, such that the times you are alone are reduced and limited to sleep etc. Stay busy and occupied if at all possible... Really focus on looking after yourself, taking things slowly and gently as you attempt to recover and heal.

Take care...


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