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they say ask for help

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napoleon
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Dec 13, 2020 12:32 am

they say ask for help

Postby napoleon » Fri Jan 08, 2021 12:22 am

and when you do, no one does anything. even when you beg. real question: what is the help? if someone has ever received it, can you please tell me what the fuck it is so i can figure out how to give it to myself?

i already know talking ain't it.

lol76
Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Re: they say ask for help

Postby lol76 » Fri Jan 08, 2021 12:49 am

Im totally with you...Its been making me so angry. They say Ask for help, reach out, you dont have to suffer...I have shouted and begged for help but I think you are right, the help is talking and sharing your problems. Like you...if anybody knows any different I too would love to know so I can conquer this never ending depression/anxiety.

Always happy to chat Napolean

rsxo
Posts: 1397
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: they say ask for help

Postby rsxo » Fri Jan 08, 2021 7:02 pm

It depends on what you want. Some people want someone to just listen; sometimes we go to others for a second opinion on a decision or situation, etc. How would you like someone to help you?
RSxo <3

lol76
Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Re: they say ask for help

Postby lol76 » Mon Jan 11, 2021 1:41 am

Id love to be properly helped so that I can get back to functioning. In a way Im lucky I have a great family.who understand and support me. I also have lots of friends...dont get me wrong my relationships arent perfect but I do have people I can go to and talk with. Ive always been quite bubbly and sociable aswell. What I want from the professionals is proper treatment, help to find meds that make a real difference, proper therapy interventions that help me move forward. In the same way as somebody who is in physical pain is referred to consultants where tests are done and treatments are explored Id like the same care and hope for my mental health. Im not expecting miracles but I dont drop to the pits of suicidal ideation just because I need a conversation....I need proper help to reduce these episodes to get me back on my feet. I have been unable to work and sadly lost my long term job due to major depression and severe anxiety. I want my life back, I want hope for my future. Sadly, just talking to others and getting some support isnt going to fix my problems otherwise I would be better by now. I want proper recognition and treatments to fix this imbalance going on in my mind and body. I really believe that in the future Mental Health treatments and a true understanding of what is really going on in our minds will emerge. Sadly until that day comes the millions of us who are suffering will have to continue to somehow put up with the intense emotional pain we feel. We will have to continue exercising, meditating, eating healthily and trying our best following the same churned out advice we always get. Dont get me wrong, some of it helps and gets me through...but it never quite tackles the root causes or addresses things once and for all. No matter how much talking, therapy Ive tried I still end up back with the same black depression and fear. For everybodies sakes who can relate to my thoughts I hope better treatments are on their way.

verytired
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 12:05 pm

Re: they say ask for help

Postby verytired » Thu Jan 14, 2021 2:49 pm

I asked for help. It made matters much worse. All I got was endless VERY distressing questions . The most pointless question that every one asked is “what help do you want us to give you?” When that comes from mental health services, you know you’re not going to get any help. If they don’t know that when you’re not well, you can’t think straight and you’re the last person who knows what help you need, then they’re not fit for purpose.
The result was I’m now distressed, angry and terrified.
Despite all that, I hope you do find constructive help. Surely not all MH services are as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike.

verytired
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 12:05 pm

Re: they say ask for help

Postby verytired » Thu Jan 14, 2021 2:51 pm

rsxo wrote:It depends on what you want. Some people want someone to just listen; sometimes we go to others for a second opinion on a decision or situation, etc. How would you like someone to help you?



Just out of interest, do you work in the Mental Health industry?

rsxo
Posts: 1397
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: they say ask for help

Postby rsxo » Fri Jan 15, 2021 10:55 pm

verytired wrote:
rsxo wrote:It depends on what you want. Some people want someone to just listen; sometimes we go to others for a second opinion on a decision or situation, etc. How would you like someone to help you?


Just out of interest, do you work in the Mental Health industry?


I don't - how come?
RSxo <3

lol76
Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Re: they say ask for help

Postby lol76 » Sat Jan 16, 2021 2:16 am

Hi verytired, I too have been asked that question after agreeing to partake in 2 years of intense psychoanalytical therapy. I was part of a group and I stuck it for about 15 months. During one session when I got extremely distressed and I was trying to question what exactly I was missing as I wasnt feeling any better I was asked the same question, ' what kind of help would I like from them?' I left the therapy immediately with my GPs blessing and decided not to waste any more time. I was sold the therapy as a possible end to my long term depression, to finally discover the true root of my anxiety/depression and over come it. In reality I put myself through torture,opened up and bared all, became distraught on countless occasions and I did all this as I was desperate to help myself. I already had a good understanding of where most of my issues had come from and the sessions failed to offer any helpful coping strategies and made no difference to the severe anxiety I still have.To be asked 'what kind of help did I want from them' felt like a total let down.I I wanted to stop feeling suicidal, I wanted to feel half human again and reduce the overwhelming distress. I wanted to wake up in the morning and not be disappointed I was still alive. I wanted to get back to earning a living again without paralysing anxiety. I wasnt the only one to feel this way either. Countless group members left early and didnt return. Im amazed how funding is used to pay for such poor services. This service was ran by a 'professional' and fully trained psychologist when to be fair any decent person on the street didnt need any training to be able to see that I was in considerable distress and needed help to get well again.

On the positive side I have gone on (privately) to find a much more understanding and helpful therapist. We are working together to help me deal with some of my issues and she has never once had to ask what I need from her she has always instinctively known.

I think MH services are a lottery and massively missing true understanding and resources to help those of us who fall between the gaps. There is primary care for those who function okay but benefit from a few counselling sessions, then there is secondary care for those who are unable to function and at immediate risk so end up being stuck in a psychiatric hospital. What about those of us in the middle? Where do we get the right treatment to avoid getting so bad that we end up on a psychiatric ward. The whole system frustrates me so much. Lets hope for better understanding and beneficial treatments in the near future. I wish you all good luck.

verytired
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2020 12:05 pm

Re: they say ask for help

Postby verytired » Sat Jan 16, 2021 2:34 am

This sounds all too familiar. I would maybe like to try going private but that seems to be a lottery too as the industry seems full of charlatans who have no trouble getting onto the approved lists.

lol76
Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Re: they say ask for help

Postby lol76 » Sun Jan 17, 2021 2:18 am

Yeah you are right. Just coz people pay doesnt mean to say the therapy is any better, but it gets instant help rather than having to join the waiting game. I certainly cant afford to pay but thankfully my family are helping me out. Who knows if im doing the right thing but at least its keeping me safe for now.


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