I have been with my boyfriend for around 14 months now and I knew from the start that he suffered with mental health issues and he has had a troubled past. He's been in units, tried to kill himself around 3 times in the past, self harmed (not since I've known him but the last time was a few years ago I believe). He was at the tailend of seeing a counsellor when we met, and he said that talking to him was SO good. The past two years he's been much better as he was single (not with someone toxic), became a vegetarian and started running. He started to feel better. Then we met and it's been great. BUT he does have moments where he gets really angry (he had a horrible childhood where he was adopted by his aunt and uncle as his birth parents didn't want him) but he always calms down and all is okay again. Or, if he drinks too much he can get angry/upset again (can't we all!!). Anyway, it's normally when he's drunk that he says bad things like wishing he'd never been born, that he hates himself, that he doesn't know why I even like him, that he hates being him etc He says he's a really horrible person etc etc He does tell me that he gets stressed a lot but bottles it up as he doesn't want to upset me :'( I've suggested speaking to a professional again but he won't.
I really don't know how best to support/help him whilst he's like this? It doesn't help that I'm super sensitive and take things to heart - I have to try and not worry that I'm not making him happy as I know that's not how depression works, but it's very hard not to take it personally.
I always say the wrong thing to him when I'm trying to support him and I really just want to know what I do or say to him when he's really down? If I say that I love him or that I think he's a great person, it just seems to make him more angry/upset or he just doesn't believe it. I just don't know how to deal with it, I have no training or experience.
I just want to help him in any way that I can, I just don't know how to
Any advice on what to do/say when he's really down like this? He has a rubbish family and he trusts no one (other than me, or so he says). I tell him that I am his family and I'd never leave him or let him down but I don't think it helps.
I'm assuming that someone who sufferes with depression, there's nothing that I can say that will make him feel any better. But please, what can I do to help support him through it? It breaks my heart seeing him when he's so down :'(