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I need help

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
merayner
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2015 10:47 pm

I need help

Postby merayner » Thu Dec 31, 2015 11:03 pm

Who can I talk to x

merayner
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2015 10:47 pm

Re: I need help

Postby merayner » Fri Jan 01, 2016 10:39 am

I don't know what I'm doing, I'm new to this group.

merayner
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2015 10:47 pm

Re: I need help

Postby merayner » Sat Jan 02, 2016 9:23 pm

Hi
I've suffered with anxiety and depression since I was 13, I'm now 47. This year has been an exceptionally difficult year, my son got married and within 2 months decided it wasn't what he wanted and his wife was expecting their first child. Amongst all that my father in law was sent to hospital and basically we sat and watched him die for around 6 weeks. I cannot begin to explain how I feel. My head is a mess, I hurt all the time. My so. Has moved bac in with his wife and son, but now he's angry with me coz, I'm so miserable - as he puts it. I have recently started seeing a councillor, and she is amazing but I've been left with feelings for her like I've never felt before. 5 sessions on the nhs isn't enough, I feel that she can help me, but not in 5 weeks then I've lost her too. I've always been afraid of dying, but at the moment it seems my only way out.

merayner
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2015 10:47 pm

Re: I need help

Postby merayner » Sat Jan 02, 2016 9:42 pm

I feel so alone

christabel
Posts: 2110
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: I need help

Postby christabel » Sun Jan 03, 2016 12:57 pm

Hi merayner

Sorry to jump in but your not alone. Not when you've got some of the nicest people on this forum to support you.
No wonder you feel so bad. Life throws some terrible things at us and it can all get to be just too much. You can come through this though. It will get better.

Keep posting you're doing so well. X

merayner
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2015 10:47 pm

Re: I need help

Postby merayner » Sun Jan 03, 2016 3:50 pm

Thank you christabel,
I don't feel as if I will...... Not sure I care anymore.

christabel
Posts: 2110
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: I need help

Postby christabel » Sun Jan 03, 2016 4:48 pm

I understand what you're saying. You're obviously as low as you can go. I have not long finished 8 sessions with a counsellor but I was pretty much on the way back up when I started. It possibly due to the area you live that you have not got as long. The one I saw did say that not to hesitate to ask if I needed to see her anytime. Is it worth you asking? I was like you when I first started. I didnt care or want to live anymore. I came through it and although it isn't easy I am reasonably well. Like you I have suffered for years and its the action/words of others that have brought me to my lowest. The most important thing I have learnt is to put myself first. I now know my limits and when I need time out. I know how hard this is cos you feel like shit but if you can do something for yourself even the smallest thing it's a step back up. It's taken a lot of heartache and upset to make you feel so bad but with a bit of kindness to yourself and your mind you will get better. It might not happen overnight but its probably years worth of upset causing it. You didn't say if you were taking medication. Do you think it's ok for you if you are? I know I had to get mine sorted and it made a big difference.
Any way I pleased you reached out on here. I know I butted in a bit on your post but we all have good and bad days and can't always follow through straight away. X

merayner
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2015 10:47 pm

Re: I need help

Postby merayner » Sun Jan 03, 2016 6:48 pm

I am on meds, setraline and lamotrogine.
The nhs have let me down so bad over the last 12-18 months, no one seems to care anymore. I've found this councillor, but soon I won't see her anymore, the pain I have inside is worse than anything I've ever known. There is no light at the end of my tunnel and I'm fed up of trying to find it. My family would be better off without me. I can't carry on like this

christabel
Posts: 2110
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: I need help

Postby christabel » Sun Jan 03, 2016 7:46 pm

No you can't go on like that. That is why you need to get some help.

Your family would not be better off. You are poorly. I have said the same words myself, I know what it feels like. I changed my GP surgery because of their attitude, the care can be rubbish but don't let it be the reason you give up.

Have you any appointments to see anyone this week? Don't forget the Samaritans are there should you need someone to talk to. You're not alone, there are people who care and understand, people on this forum.

Sending Hugs x


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