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Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2021 8:54 pm
by hayley1234
Hey there,big step for me to join a support group and admit I’m struggling with mental health.I’m such a proud person that would never admit such a thing to anyone,often meaning I lead a double life(that’s what it feels like colleagues say I’m so outgoing and bubbly but inside I’m screaming.Iv suffered with slight anxiety and depression for about 12 years ,then suddenly in 2012 my dad passed has not been the same since,I feel relationships with friends broke down,my marriage is on the rocks(my fault not his)and I’m simply existing and not living.My husband and close family know how I feel but don’t think any of them know to what severity,I’m so lost

Re: Lost

Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2021 7:02 pm
by epitaph
Dear hayley1234,

Welcome to the forum.

I dearly wish it wasn't the case but sadly I can relate to much of what you have said.

Loosing a parent, (or frankly getting over any major trauma) seems to cause re-occurring emotions. What I mean is, one can think one is over something and not think too much about it, then when discussing it at some later date it can come back front and center to ones mind and thoughts.

The phrase a house of emotional mirrors comes to mind, how I appear on the outside, might be and is very different to how I feel a lot of the time on the inside. To the extent that those around me are unaware of what I'm having to deal with or how much I'm really suffering and from what... Whilst at the same time I'm looking for ways to distract/release myself from my thoughts primarily through conversation with others.

Take care...