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Feeling like i want to die

Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2021 9:53 pm
by elle90
Hi im new here and i am currently experiencing a bout of depression and anxiety. I have had this my whole life and have just lived depressed without treatment for a long time. The past few years i have gone on medication and sort trauma therapy. So i am admitting to myself that i feel like death and that is how my depression and anxiety/ptsd feels. I have been disbelieved, ignored and lost in the system because i am somewhat high functioning. So im trying to find safe spaces to say i feel like i want to die and i have felt this way on and off for 20 years. For the first time i am starting to be honest about suicidal ideation a bit more. I hope that i can recover from this illness one day.

Re: Feeling like i want to die

Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2021 11:22 pm
by lol76
Hi elle90

I'm pleased you have posted how you are feeling because please be assured you are most definitely not alone in how you are feeling. I too have suffered with anxiety all my life and depression from my late teens. Past episodes have been bad but I've managed to bounce back quite quick with meds and therapy. However, an episode started back in December 2017 and I'm still trying to recover from it. While I was in the NHS system I too was told I had suicidal ideation so I know how awful it is to suffer with it and I also know how hard it is to talk about. As soon as you admit that you just dont want to be here and all you can think about is suicide then people react and become very uncomfortable, which is understandable. However, one thing I've learned is that when I have those feelings I feel better for voicing them to the few people I can trust and that by simply speaking it out allowed it kind of helps a little. So please feel free to say how you are feeling on here. Sometimes it's not that we want an answer or instant help...sometimes it's just that we simply need to voice it and be heard by somebody who cares enough to listen. I'm always happy to listen :)