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Honestly life is testing me

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
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Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2021 4:34 pm

Honestly life is testing me

Postby crazycatlady1993 » Fri Apr 09, 2021 4:48 pm

So after ranting at receptionists Doctors and friends and literally having enough of myself I found myself googling support forums because I really am at the end of my tether.

I’ve come here to find out if I’m just insane or life really is being a nightmare.

Does anyone else find it impossible to get help support or even the slightest bit of compassion from their doctor’s receptionist?
I suffer with borderline personality disorder which in itself took ten years to be diagnosed. :roll:
If I don’t wake up in the morning and program my self to be in a good mood then I really can wake up and it’s a complete guessing game to me how it’s all going to turn out.
I feel angry all the time, restless and agitated. I take my tablets like the doctors say. I exercise eat healthy try and stay busy and occupied. But no matter if I’ve climbed Everest that day I get in bed and just feel like I don’t deserve to chill I should be up doing something productive. To then wake up the next day and just not want to move.
Also had stomach issues.
But when I call the Doctors it’s just like trying to get blood from a stone.
Sample one- possible irritable bowel disease - says maybe crohns or colitis
Like come on that’s not good
Sample 2- just trying to get the results nearly drove me to the closet mental health unit. I am still sat here baffled by what’s actually going on. He says another sample is needs in two weeks. But I say it’s been three since my last sample so why can’t I do it now? I’m in pain every day and it’s always swollen and hurting. He says fine il refer do the sample if you wish and ends the call. Like is that normal? I am honestly just exhausted of asking for help and feeling like a complete idiot in doing so.
Anyone else made to feel like scum for worrying about your own health and Body?
I don’t know what to do anymore I feel like I’m at a crossroads and tbh I don’t particularly enjoy life. With a head full of demons and constantly questioning whether something is a fart or a number 2 I just feel like I’m set up to fail and it’s making me miserable. But I needed this rant.

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