Yeah, me too
Do you ever feel you are going through your day and everything you try and do you always feel no matter what it is it is you are doing, it is just not good enough? Yeah, me too.
I try and become aware of this now instead of just feeling not good enough, then feel rubbish for not being good enough. Since starting to be more observing of my thoughts I have noticed just how self critical I am. For instance, this morning – woke up feeling like I needed another 8 hours sleep and dozily dragged myself up and was brushing my teeth. First thought of the day “you’re not brushing your teeth properly. They will never look white and bright”. Next came a workout (and I am not a natural sporty person) and the thought that kept me company was “you’re not even trying you will never get fit”. And then came the rest of the day, you get the picture, and all through it was this horrible negative belief over every little thing.
Before becoming aware of these thoughts I would often end the day thinking why do I feel so rubbish? Now I am more aware I can answer that by saying I’m not surprised I feel so awful! If there was an actual person constantly criticising everything I did it would be far more easier to notice and understand why I lack confidence and self belief. But my own invisible self critical thoughts are far more easy to miss because there is nothing physically there to challenge.
Since becoming more aware of my own self critique I find it is much easier to stop these thoughts in their tracks and actually see them for what they are, just thoughts and it gives me an opportunity to challenge these thoughts and for the first time give myself a break.
I read something very profound the other week too. We were never meant to be perfect. We, as people, can sometimes put way too much pressure on ourselves and the harshest critic we can have sometimes is ourselves. All we can do day to day is enough. Our best is good enough. We try, and that is enough. We are good enough. We are perfectly imperfect and that is enough.
So if you are very self critical and you feel you are the only one I promise you, you are so not. Yeah, me too.