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14 Nov 2022 , by Caroline

What a myth – Self-care is selfish

This has got to be right up there among some of the greatest myths – that self-care is selfish, when it most definitely is not. In fact, self-care is one of the most essential things we need to do.

I would love to know how this came to not only being believed, but accepted as a fact. I think at some point we have all believed this to be true.

For example, take today, I feel so tired and even finding the energy feels like hard work. We’ve all been there. What I am craving is a day on the sofa, some really nonsense TV and a lorry load of snacks. But although this is how I am feeling, my mind is saying “NO! You want to do what? Do nothing productive? Nothing worthwhile? You want to nothing and do it for yourself? What about everyone else? You should be doing this, you should be more selfless, you should be less lazy, you should be more thoughtful of others. What a selfish way to spend your time!”

(Is it just me, or do you too hate that word ‘should’?)

But my thoughts are wrong. Way wrong.

Looking after ourselves is absolutely essential for our own health and wellbeing. Thank goodness there are more and more great affirmations to counter against such negative thoughts

“You cannot pour from an empty cup.”

“Like in a plane, in life you must attach your own mask first, before helping others.”

For us to be able to be who we want to be, we need to look after ourselves first. We can then be all set, to become the best, of who we want to be.

It is OK, to see that there is nothing selfish about being kind, gentle and caring to ourselves, without judgement, without criticism.

Every time I feel that pang of guilt when I think of some self-care, I am going to remember to call out the feeling of being selfish for what it is – simply a myth and nothing to listen to.

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