Trauma can’t be measured
It took me nearly a decade to admit to myself something was not quite right. I had convinced myself that I had dealt with grief, moved on, and I was just being dramatic when I felt anxious. I was over reacting when I felt down. After all, who am I to complain? Others have things much worse. Others have been through a lot tougher times.
No, nothing is wrong with me, I am just naturally a worrier. That’s who I am? After all, that’s what I have been told so they must be right about me?
Wrong. So wrong.
I had spent nearly ten years not only ignoring my PTSD and my anxiety, but I made excuses to myself about them and I felt guilty for feeling the way I did.
After all, how could I have PTSD? I haven’t been involved in a major incident.
But I had suffered trauma. And that is what I have since learned. Trauma cannot be measured. Trauma should not be measured.
Acknowledge the trauma
Trauma can be anything that is traumatic to you, to the brain. Nobody can tell you what trauma should look like, feel like, or how bad things should get before you are traumatised. A trauma can be unique to a person. It is how something effects you and nobody else.
If I could go back in time to see me when the traumatic time happened, I would want to give me the thing that wasn’t given at the time. Understanding. Somebody to simply listen to me and to not dismiss my feelings.
Luckily, and I know it took a long time, but I did realise there was something more than me being simply a “worrier” and I knew these feelings wouldn’t go away until I reached out for help. There is help out there, and there are so many great people who get it, who have been there and who do understand.
The important thing to know is you are never alone, no matter how sometimes it may feel you are , you are not. We are all in this together and it really is ok to reach out and ask for help. Trauma is something to acknowledge and to recognise that you have been through. Something that you deserve to receive help for, support for, and to feel so much better.