Postnatal Depression: My road to recovery
Rosey outlines the steps she has taken to recover from Postnatal Depression.
I was first diagnosed with Postnatal Depression in late 2008 when my daughter was around 8 months old, but had been suffering in silence for months beforehand. I was given Anti-Depressants (Citalopram) offered counselling – which I refused as I didn’t feel it would help me at that time, that however was where the care ended – I was left to fend for myself..
Since then I have suffered with Antenatal Depression and Postnatal Depression with both my boys (born Nov 2009 and Aug 2012) again the care offered was Anti-Depressants and Counselling – Left to recover by myself and in all honestly I’ve done a rubbish job of any Self Care and any attempt to feel better has always been short lived, I’ve always gone 1 step forward 5 steps back, but I promised myself 2014 would be different…
Road to Recovery Step 1.
Fast forward to January of this year I began this blog – I started just to share the poem I wrote entitled ‘PND and Me’ then thought I’d share a bit more of my story as each experience has been different, I began to find it therapeutic, I could write what I wanted, I could say how shit I was feeling knowing I wouldn’t be judged because there was so many people out there who simply understood how I was feeling. Having the blog to use as an outlet has helped me through 2 breakdowns this year in January and March. I’m not sure had this blog and my twitter page not been in existence that I’d have been here after my breakdown in March – I was so close to the edge, scarily close. Creating #PNDHour literally saved my life.
Road to Recovery Step 2.
I’ve finally accepted due to various reasons that I am ready for counselling however it appears my GP felt I ‘Wouldn’t benefit from it’ So I’m going back for a second opinion because I KNOW I need it! This is probably one of the biggest steps I’ve taken in the time I’ve suffered with PND… accepting that I need the help to move forward.
Road to Recovery Step 3.
Accepting that to be a little selfish and really focus on me is ok! I’ve spent 6 and a half years being a stay at home mum, I had 3 babies less than 4.5yrs.. I am exhausted! So now I have 2 in school and have been very lucky to have funding to put my 2 year old into nursery – I’ve finally got the time to look after myself, do nice things just for me, and heck even pee in peace is a luxury I haven’t had in 6yrs!
Road to Recovery Step 4.
I have always enjoyed helping others, hence why #PNDChat & #PNDHour were set up. This year I’m going back to college, because I want to be able to get a job in a few years that will enable me to help mums and their families on a whole new level. There is nothing more humbling that knowing you have helped someone in their darkest hour to see a little glimmer of light.
Everyone’s road to recovery is completely unique and personal, it’s taken a long time (for various reasons) for me to finally start going forward, but with the right support, encouragement and help, every single mum out there whose suffers with any Perinatal Mental Illness can get better.
Recovery is not about big giant steps, it’s about little steps each day, it’s about not comparing yourself and your recovery to anyone else. You are you and your journey is different, but every journey starts with a single step..