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10 Nov 2021 , by Caroline

Oh for stuck’s sake

It’s a nearly universal human experience to feel stuck at some point in life. Whether in a career, relationships, or even in identifying the next goal — most people will feel stuck at some point. However, it is important to remember to show yourself compassion and kindness during these times and not to be too harsh on yourself.

Does anyone feel stuck these days? Stuck with your job? Your lack of a job? Your partner? Not having a partner? Stuck having anxiety, depression, eating disorder, being an introvert, or being an extrovert? You don’t even know what it is that is making you feel stuck, or where you don’t want to be, but by golly you know you don’t want to be/feel like this.

Not feeling content

I feel the same. Every morning lately I wake up, do the same routine as the day before and I have this feeling that has been with me so long. It’s like a companion now as its been around so long, and it’s this feeling of not feeling content. Feeling that I want to be achieving something more, something different. That this is not enough to feel just ok. Then, I feel guilty for feeling like this. Shame. Self criticism. How could I feel like this? I should be grateful with what I’ve got. Other people are going through far worse. How dare I be so ungrateful! And then, with those feelings in tow, off I go and get on with my day.

But lately, I have been aware of how harshly I think of myself. If a friend came up to me and said “you know I’m feeling pretty down” would I invalidate their feelings and shame them for having them as quickly as I brush aside my own? Absolutely not. When did I start to be so judgemental and mean to myself?

Be kind to yourself

Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, understanding, compassion and kindness and no more so than ourselves. If we feel a feeling, we should not feel we have to brush it away under the carpet, We are all important. We are all valid.

So, today I made a change. When these stuck feelings appeared, I acknowledged them. And I want to understand them, to feel and to think, why is this feeling here?

One thing I have already learned by doing this is just because I am feeling stuck and want something else, doesn’t mean I am ungrateful for what I already have. Far from it. I think subconsciously I thought you could only have one or the other. Meaning, if I wanted something else then obviously I was ungrateful for what I already have. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

I am so grateful for everything I have. And sometimes, if I’m honest, it isn’t that I am ungrateful, I was so focussed on the negative I forgot to be aware of what I already have. But equally, there is nothing wrong with wanting to grow and have new opportunities.

Today, I am going to start unsticking some sticky stuck pieces. I am going to show myself some more kindness and compassion, and I am so very grateful to do this.

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