Lillie, it’s positive that your guy still wants to meet you at weekends.
James, I try to stop researching and reading on depression but can’t help doing it as although the answer is obvious, I’m still desperately trying to make sense of it all. I think my ex has Borderline Personality Disorder, which would explain the intensity of his love, getting attached quickly to me soon after us meeting, thinking we were soul mate, putting me on a pedestal and ending the relationship in fear of abandonment. So at the beginning there was ‘idealisation’ until he realised that I wasn’t ‘perfect’ or the honeymoon period ended for him. I was then devalued. Then moving on to another person soon after the break up to fill in the void and to try regain the feeling of euphoria of a new relationship. So the cycle repeats itself and will continue until he gets the right therapy. Depression and anxiety are also associated with BPD.
I found this from someone who suffers from BPD:
‘If the person with BPD initiated the breakup, then they have already forgotten the other person and moved on. That is because the partner has already been Devalued and is now viewed as always having been a terrible person who is not worth their time and whom they never really loved (the entire relationship is forgotten in an instant and replaced with a false narrative).’
It’s the illness I know but I can’t help taking it personally. It hurts that I and our relationship have been forgotten. So, it looks like there’s no hope of my ex ever remembering how much he loved me or what our relationship was like. There’s no hope of him ever reaching out to me again
Communication and setting boundaries are important in relationships with BPD sufferers. If I knew, maybe we would still be together. Lots of ‘ifs’. With hindsight, a lot would be possible.
Hope you all have a peaceful Saturday xx