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Amaya

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amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Amaya

Postby amaya » Thu Nov 30, 2017 8:45 pm

Thanks guys :)

I feel a lot better now, just still exhausted.

ATTMP whatever you want to ramble about is always welcome in my thread :) I did the same in a CBT course before I realised the depths of my issues and what a diagnosis could mean so I know I only want to go there within a supportive therapeutic structure this time.

Thanks for crossing the fingers for the MBT.. but neither I nor the psychologist are convinced that it is the best thing for me. If it turns out that it is then I really hope they will give it too me! But I think after so long waiting it is more important to get it right than grab at the chance to start something just because it is something. I want to get permanently well with the right treatment. Even if that means it isn't MBT. But of course that will be a massive disappointment because I feel like a lot what I want in life depends on me becoming more stable, and soon. I am really impatient.

Just to prove my english is getting worse I typed inpatient before I remembered it was a m and not a n in that word. Inpatient was when I was still in the hospital haha.

Deb I think the other journey is tougher, so I don't care how tough it gets, I have to do it now.

Thanks everyone for being so supportive :)

teamn
Posts: 297
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: Amaya

Postby teamn » Fri Dec 01, 2017 1:55 am

Really well done today, going ahead with then appointment, pat yourself on the back for that one.and your looking at the treatment in such a sensible way too, in terms of not just taking the first thing thrown at you. With my psychiatrist we went through different options and that was excellent as no other councillor had done that. So all the bst with this new stage of your journey abs well done again

Isap
Posts: 1541
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Amaya

Postby Isap » Fri Dec 01, 2017 3:43 am

Hi Amaya

Well done!

Isap xx

sirhugo
Posts: 310
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Amaya

Postby sirhugo » Fri Dec 01, 2017 10:15 am

hi amaya. how you feeling today. did you sleep well. i have a suggestion on how to get some sleep thats worked for me if you're interested

team n. did you get some smokes? :D

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Amaya

Postby amaya » Fri Dec 01, 2017 6:49 pm

Thanks guys.

No I didn't sleep and I still feel unwell today even though I don't think I am actually ill. Decided not to go diving tonight because it doesn't start until 2100h and I think it is more important to get myself back on an even keel and try to sleep early tonight. So I bought a pizza and ate it in bed to load up on energy and hopefully I will sleep and not be too cold. Just feeling really spaced out still.

Hugo, yes any advice on sleep is welcome, although most of the time the issue is not with sleep itself, but with my muscles not relaxing enough to let me use the bathroom before bed and then also my mind is too active and hyper alert to let me sleep, especially because I am alone. But if I can get through my bedtime bathroom routine then sleep itself is not usually a problem. I am too exhausted now from months of not sleeping.. but it is the bit before sleep, when I have to stop distracting myself and deal with reality, that is hard to get through.

And still trying not to think about smoking since I quit so I have a low tolerance for discussions about smokes in my own thread :p

Trying to look after myself a bit. Would rather be looking after someone else, because that way it feels nicer and you look after yourself by accident at the same time.

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1228
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Amaya

Postby andthistoomustpass » Fri Dec 01, 2017 8:59 pm

Hope sleep carries you off nice and early

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Amaya

Postby amaya » Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:32 pm

Thanks :)

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Amaya

Postby amaya » Sun Dec 03, 2017 1:51 am

I can't sleep again :(

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Amaya

Postby amaya » Sun Dec 03, 2017 8:48 pm

Got up late but did a couple of the things I wanted to do at least this morning. Spent the afternoon and evening meal with my lovely spanish friend and I got suddenly really tired so I came back early in the hopes that if I unwind a bit I might sleep early tonight. I have an early appointment with the support worker tomorrow and I want her to help me compose an email to the psychologist clearly putting my views over because on Wednesday I have an appointment to discuss diagnosis.

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Amaya

Postby amaya » Mon Dec 04, 2017 11:17 am

Feeling completely wasted after taking a whistle stop tour through my life with the support worker this morning. Don't even know how to think, feel or process. Just zombied and a bit sick feeling. Gonna eat something and try to remember who I am. Just went shopping and I had to ask someone about a product and when she told me what day it would be delivered I had to ask her what day it was today because I realised I didn't know. Even though I definitely knew it this morning haha. So special sometimes.


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