In part because I don't think she wants to marry me, we have been arguing a lot lately and last nights fight left is both in emotional shreds, things were said thay Ade me feel even more certain she doesn't want this. It doesn't help my mental healths a mess lately. My abandonment issues are really being triggered, I am no good for her, with mental health ptobs and physical health probs what do I have to offer her. A life time of being stuck with me. Knowing her dad and sister hate me. I am not sleeping well so I know its playing a part to I'm just a bloody mess, the only reason I didn't self harm etc last night is babysitting today. I'm so exhausted and wish I could chop my head off. I'm drowning and I don't even want a life jacket as I don't see a point.
Sorry its not happy convosation
Jelly Tot Xx
A thousand words, yet none that fit what i feel today!