Err..".grudges, angry, bitter, and sorry for yourself" is rather a large assumption about people you know nothing about!
The English have a phrase for that. It's "speak for yourself".
Many people are horribly wronged, often by multiple abusers, often in multiple ways and for multiple years. They may have been too young to remember some, too uncomprehending, and have no idea of the identities of some.
They won't therefore even have the opportunity to single out someone to hold "grudges" about.Therefore, nobody to "forgive". Are you, perhaps, confusing two entirely different things?
Nasty, bitter, twisted, hate-filled, angry, sorry-for-themselves, might apply to a bunch of squabbling jealous siblings, resenting one another for life because of which one got more sweeties. The words "forgive and forget" might be applicable.
The same would not apply to the one or two survivors of a torture, rape, mutilation and extermination exercise, would it? They might be described in various ways. Accusing them of being "sorry for themselves" would be a nasty thing to do, don't you think?.
You could, if you choose, order anyone to "forgive and forget". But, if they are still being abused, still under the power of the perpetrator(s), you really couldn't advise them to snap out of "holding grudges"
. Nor could you demand that they ought to continue contact. Nor could you expect them to behave as if nothing wrong had been done, in front of any identifiable abusers and any people who treat those abusers with warmth and favour, even though they know even some of what was done.
Nazi .guards are regarded with shame by thei.r own families, even if they have been fond to them. Camp survivors and guards are not expected to live under the same roof at home, and share tables at social gatherings. Society, even the guards' own families, unites to condemn wrongdoing, not to collude, nor tacitly condone. The guards, not the survivors, are shunned and excluded.