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Help after leaving a violent relationship

Mental illness recognises no boundaries...
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Joined: Sat Sep 12, 2015 1:05 pm

Help after leaving a violent relationship

Postby smw » Tue Jan 12, 2016 5:14 pm


Around 18 months ago I was assisted by police in leaving an extremely violent and controlling relationship.

At the time of leaving the relationship, my ex partner had not let me leave our home for in excess of 6 months, locking me in our home, taking our telephone etc so I could not contact anyone. It was only after he had beaten me quite badly and then fallen asleep that I managed to get hold of his mobile phone and called the police.

On leaving the relationship, I suffered quite badly with low mood, suicidal thoughts etc so I attended my doctors. Although it may have been how I was feeling at the time, I felt that my doctor didn't take how I was feeling seriously owing to the fact it was a same sex relationship. Due to this I did not return to my doctors until over 6 months later due to the fact I was on the verge of suicide.

During the 6 months I had struggled to deal with life outside after being kept 'prisoner' so to speak in my home, on and off for around 12 months. It started with me finding myself being rude to shop assistants or taxi drivers who were just doing their job, to actively avoiding busy places to having to walk in a different direction if someone was walking on the same path as me to being virtually unable to answer my own front door if someone knocked. I have, for the last 14-16 months been virtually unable to leave my home due to this. I have also had numerous incidents in and around my home such as witnessing a neighbor being assaulted by their partner, being threatened by the neighbor for calling the police etc, which has made it hard to even function in my own home. Also due to the lack of help I have been given I have struggled with alcohol and prescription drugs.

Owing to this I have struggled to get any help from my GP. Although I have had telephone consultations and new medication bought to me, I have been advised that any further help such as seeing a psychologist or undertaking cognitive behavioral therapy would have to be done outside my home, which is impossible. Since July 2015 I have been in contact with my local Mental Health Team and after undergoing numerous assessments, I have recently been diagnosed with PTSD and have been offered 3 sessions of telephone CBT. However I have been told that this is all they can offer and should this not work then there is very little else they can offer me.

I now feel somewhat at a loss as I do not see how 3 sessions of CBT will 'cure me' of my PTSD and should this be the case then I do not know where to turn next.

Any advice anyone can give me with moving forward will be gratefully recieved.

Kind regards

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Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Help after leaving a violent relationship

Postby deb1960 » Tue Jan 19, 2016 2:00 pm

HI smw,

This sounds horrendous.

For help on here I think you need to post on mutual support as few people will see it here.
If you're a guy they Womens Aid won't be available. I really hope you find something.


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Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2016 3:11 pm
Location: Yorkshire

Re: Help after leaving a violent relationship

Postby Sunflowers&Raindrops » Thu Feb 18, 2016 5:13 pm

cal1860 wrote:i love The Rainbow Clan
it makes me cry when i see a bruised rainbow
give these guys a ring
i've rested my own head on their chests more than once ;)

you're in shock and it will take some serious tender love to help you heal
praying that you find the guy of your dreams real soon

Definitely, talking therapy is very effective in some cases like this - certainly worth a try when you are feeling at your lowest. Peace <3

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