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I just dont know what to do to help.

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I just dont know what to do to help.

Postby Jazzdrop22 » Wed Jun 20, 2012 12:26 am

Hello, i'm new here and this is my first post. I have a daughter of 19, who has autism but it is high achieving. In Dec 11, they told us she's got emotionally unstable personality disorder. She has only started having difficulties since the age of 15, and we have had the most perfect 6 months ever of her life, but the last few days things have turned severely bad, we don't have a clue why.

We don't know what happened Friday but she was taken to hospital and sectioned over night, but told she was fine and to go home the next morning, even though she begged them for help.
Saturday we get a call from the police to say they were dragging her out of a canal, she had thrown herself in. We rushed to the hospital but the fear we feel whilst driving the 20 odd miles to get to her is awful. When we got there she was not her self, threatening to hospital staff, but in a mild way, she ran away from the hospital, police found her, again the fear whilst waiting for her to be found is horrible, she threatened the police, so instead of arresting her they sectioned her again. She has told them all that she is in crisis and needs help, she wants to be put away. The very next morning they sent her home again saying she is ok, they even called the police to remove her from the hospital, once police were there she threatened to set herself alite with a lighter. Police eventually dropped her in town, she ran off and was missing for hours. She was found but had been given drugs by someone and was sexually assaulted. I last heard from her at 3am Monday morning and she was talking like she was fine.
Monday i waited all day for a call and heard nothing, i had the instinct to ring her local hospital and they said she was there and we needed to come now. We drove like lightening fearing the worst, when we got there they sent us straight to resus so we knew things were bad. She had dr's and an aneastatist with her, she was deeply unconscious and they could not get her round. She was bleeding from her nose, and self harm marks on her arms, it turned out she had been mixing with the local tramps/wino's on the park bench, she had been given drugs and she had overdosed on them, mixing with alcohol and anti depressants. She was in a bad way and they were waiting to take her to intensive care. She was being sick whilst unconscious and they were worried as this can kill you. To cut it short as the night wore on she slowly regained consciousness and again today was sent home, they are sending someone to see her at home, i think they call the the 'hometeam" but i know nothing about how all this works. I feel sick with fear, i now can't reach her on the phone, i am texting her and she was replying but the replies were short, i dont know if she is asleep or killing herself. She says she is not suicidal but so very lonely and needs help, this is why she sits with the wino's, they don't judge her. Ive begged everyone for help for her and to section her, as this is what she wants as she says she feels safe there. Ive spoken to her psychiatrist today and he says there is no drugs she can take to help her, i said give her something to calm her mood surely, but he said no, all the agencys are saying she does not need sectioning, im terrified she is going to get it right next time and die. She is my baby girl and is so nice and helpful, but she is in a bad place.
I just dont know what to do, how can i help her, she refuses point blank to come home, we beg her to come home but she won't, we just don't understand why.
She needs to live in somewhere that is more supported than she is living in, but they say there is nothing, what on earth can i do.

I myself now feel extremely depressed, i am already on 50mg antidepressant as ive just finished fighting cancer, but am now left with heart problems, even hubby feels depressed. We are both so terribly scared she might kill herself, we love her so much and would do anything in the world to protect her, but we are not enough.
So sorry to go on, but i feel like im stuck in a big black hole, not sleeping etc as we are just waiting go the phone to ring or the door to knock again and its the police with bad news. How on earth do people live like this.
Jazzdrop22
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2012 11:39 pm

Re: I just dont know what to do to help.

Postby ulysses » Wed Jun 20, 2012 2:12 pm

your story is truly heartbreaking. the diagnosis of unstable personality disorder seems like a catch-all and an admission that they don't know what's wrong with her. if your daughter's out-of-control behaviour doesn't qualify her for sectioning, i don't know what does. as you say, i don't understand why they can't give her something to calm her down, like a major tranquilizer. i'm not a bit surprised that you're having to take ADs yourself. if you could get her home, then i suppose you could try locking lher in her room, but she won't come home. it might be a mercy if she would break the law and so be taken into custody. i'm sorry i'm at a loss as to know what to suggest. i really feel for you, but you don't want sympathy but practical advice as how to protect and help your daughter. i hope someone else can come on here soon and suggest something that's actually helpful.

ulysses
xxx
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
ulysses
 
Posts: 429
Joined: Sat Sep 10, 2011 9:39 pm

Re: I just dont know what to do to help.

Postby belle » Wed Jun 20, 2012 2:35 pm

Hello.
I'm sorry things are bad.
Your daughter seems to be in great and serious need of professional help.
Perhaps you could look on google to see if you have a Mental Health Advocacy Service in your area. They provide free help and support for patients (and carers) to access serivces, attend appointments and back you up with the professionals. They are extremely knowledgeable on all matters regarding MH issues and the MH Act.
I hope that might be a helpful suggestion.
Take care.
belle
 
Posts: 5142
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:20 pm

Re: I just dont know what to do to help.

Postby broken angel » Thu Jun 21, 2012 8:52 pm

Wow I wanted to cry reading ur storie sooo sad
Hugs .. I'm sorry u feel low don't give up hun
Ur daughter defo needs help so what ever u do don't give up
Fight for her go bk to ur doc.. have u thought about private hospitals ?
Belle is right try the avocody sorry can't spell it,
Goodluck keep intouch xx
broken angel
 
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Joined: Sat May 15, 2010 7:32 pm

Re: I just dont know what to do to help.

Postby Jazzdrop22 » Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:00 pm

She's still bad, been sectioned over night again Saturday night and sent home again the very next morning again.?? She's up anddown like a yoyo. I feel sick with worry, i spoke to her care coordinator again and again they said she don't need sectioning, nor meds, just weekly therapy. I feel sick with dread waiting for the next thing to happen.
Jazzdrop22
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2012 11:39 pm

Re: I just dont know what to do to help.

Postby belle » Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:08 pm

Hi again.
Sorry things are bad.
It just doesn't seem right to me that she has so little support.
Did you have a think about trying to get an advocate to help you with all this?
I hope something will shift soon.
It must be making you unwell too with all the stress.
Take care.
x
belle
 
Posts: 5142
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:20 pm

Re: I just dont know what to do to help.

Postby ulysses » Thu Jun 28, 2012 9:16 pm

sorry the situation re your daughter isn't much better. i suppose up and down is to be preferred to being down all the time. what is this therapy she's getting? presumably you don't think it's helping much. i'm still surprised they don't think a drug of some sort might stabilise her.

ulysses
xxx
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
ulysses
 
Posts: 429
Joined: Sat Sep 10, 2011 9:39 pm


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