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Really struggling

Mental illness recognises no boundaries...
domjf
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2018 8:55 am

Really struggling

Postby domjf » Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:11 am

I have been very distressed and feeling very down most days recently. It has been going on for around a year now, but has really gotten worse in the last few months. It started when my closest and best friend at uni left, After that, I tended to stay in my room a lot and only really socialise with my other friends when he came to visit every now and then. I also started to feel left out of some activities that my other friends did, which made me feel really down and feel like I'm worthless. Towards the middle of my first semester at uni for my second year, I started to become less social again and just stay in my room a lot of the time. I also started to get irritated at the smallest of things, and have punched many things in my room in anger. Yet again, I feel like I'm worthless and left out of my social group, which is another reason why I stay in my room as I feel I'm drifting away from them.

I am also distressed due to my sexuality. I am bisexual, which I realised when i was about 15. I have come out to my close friends at home, but not my uni friends or my close family due to fear of what they will say. It causes me a lot of stress daily, and makes me angry a lot of the time. My dad also suffers from mental health issues, and has been in a psychiatric ward on numerous occasions. When i see him, it makes me feel sad and angry as to why this would have to happen to my dad.

Due to all this, I have had a lot of suicidal feelings that have escalated in recent months. I have come to points when I want to kill myself, but I can't do it. It makes me worried that I am having these thoughts, and don't really know what to do. I am just really stressed and need some help.

Isap
Posts: 1542
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Really struggling

Postby Isap » Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:55 am

Hi Dom

Sorry to hear of your situation it's horrible I know.

Have you a student counsellor? Or have you seen your GP? You must do this. Does uni have a gay soc? You might get some good advice there.

You need to come out to EVERYONE about your sexuality. Some tests may shun you but you will also get a lot of sympathy. Handled right it's not shameful or anaffliction .

As for those damn suicidal thoughts , there are ways to deal with them. Get a copy of the book The aHapiness Trap by Russ Harris. Also try saying this to yourself when yourind bluffs you with negTive thoughts

"Oh whatever. I'm getting bored with all this fear mongering. It is irrelevant to me andy life. But ok sure, go ahead anxiety and repeat thT awful thought again if it makes you feel better"

You can get through this but you have to force yourself out of your room and do stuff and I know how hard that is

Isap

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: Really struggling

Postby amaya » Sun Feb 11, 2018 2:58 pm

I think it is good to come out, but in your own time, because people's reactions can be difficult. I do think that is getting better all the time though. Especially in a university environment.

Here you won't be judged for your sexuality. I am bisexual myself and it will be nice if one day we could live in a world where it didn't matter anymore and we were all just free to be people without having to wear labels.

There should be a LGBT society in your university that will be welcoming for you and I bet there will be lots of other students there with similar issues and you won't be alone with it anymore. I would google them up and get along to one of their social events as soon as possible, no matter how scared you are, they will understand.

Have you been to see the doctor to talk about how low you are? I think you could use some support so I would go the the university health services or your GP and tell them how you are feeling.


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