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Hi, looking for advice

Mental illness recognises no boundaries...
bumblebeex
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jun 22, 2017 7:40 am

Hi, looking for advice

Postby bumblebeex » Thu Jun 22, 2017 7:55 am

Hey everyone,
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but.. I was in an emotionally and occasionally physically/sexually abusive relationship in the past, I'm now moved on and in a happy, safe relationship.
Ex and I still have mutual friends and bump into each other on occasion, but anytime we do I find myself becoming that girl from the past again that feels like they need to please them and make them like me. I feel so silly because I don't know why it makes me go back, I have no want to be friends or have them in my life so why do I do this when I'm in their company? It's really frustrating and I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this/has any advice?

Love and light xx

Isap
Posts: 1556
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Hi, looking for advice

Postby Isap » Thu Jun 22, 2017 8:54 am

Hi there

When yiu run into mutual friends from the past, say hello and carry on walking. They don't sound like real friends anyway. You owe them nothing. If they invite you for a coffee, say you don't have time. It doesn't matter what they think of you. You've moved on. Be nice to yourself not to them

Isap

rsxo
Posts: 747
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: Hi, looking for advice

Postby rsxo » Fri Jun 23, 2017 5:38 pm

bumblebeex wrote:Hey everyone,
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but.. I was in an emotionally and occasionally physically/sexually abusive relationship in the past, I'm now moved on and in a happy, safe relationship.
Ex and I still have mutual friends and bump into each other on occasion, but anytime we do I find myself becoming that girl from the past again that feels like they need to please them and make them like me. I feel so silly because I don't know why it makes me go back, I have no want to be friends or have them in my life so why do I do this when I'm in their company? It's really frustrating and I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this/has any advice?

Love and light xx


Hi bumblebeex,

I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. I think you regress to that character because you feel that you need to behave how you did when you met them (ie with your ex), and that perhaps you fear that you'll lose them as friends if you act as yourself. However, they aren't really friends if they don't accept who you are as is, so it may be a case of building up your confidence to be yourself around them, despite who you used to be.

Much love <3
RSxo <3


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