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what should I do as i'm in love with a celebrity

Mental illness recognises no boundaries...
karljcompton
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2017 6:26 pm

what should I do as i'm in love with a celebrity

Postby karljcompton » Sat Feb 25, 2017 2:15 pm

I'm a gay guy and I'm completely in love with a guy called Danny Miller, he is an actor who stars in a soap opera called Emmerdale. I've been in love with him for 8 years and I just can't stop thinking about him. I can't wait to go to sleep every night so I can fantasize and dream about us being together. I have over 300,000 followers on twitter but i only read his tweets and I tweet/dm him all the time. he follows me and sometimes he replies and I feel like we have a connection but I know deep down we don't. I find myself messaging him anything just to try to get a response but I don't want to get to a point where he blocks me altho he jokingly said it's all cool. My bedroom wall has his posters. I have mouse pads, picture folders, dvd's of his scenes,photos etc and I know I sound crazy, pathetic and sad but I can't help it. He gave me the courage to come out to my family but not before my dad died and my sister was killed a few years ago and even though my family knows I love him but they don't know I'm at a point where I feel physically sick when I think of him too much cos i want to be with him more then anything else. The worst thing is that He's straight and I'm gay so it's even MORE impossible but I keep thinking maybe if we met (which we have once and he gave me a kiss on the cheek) he would like me and we'd fall in love ahhhh I know that sounds crazy cos i know that will never happen. I some advice on what I should do. I'm 29, living with my mum and I've never had a boyfriend and i'm still a virgin maybe that's a part of it? It seems to be getting harder and harder each day lately. half of me wants to get over it and the other half loves how i feel and most of the time i'm only happy when i'm thinking of him.  Thank you so much

deb1960
Posts: 1702
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: what should I do as i'm in love with a celebrity

Postby deb1960 » Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:29 pm

Hi Karl

Your situation doesn't sound stupid but it isn't at all healthy and the fact that you've posted on here suggests that you know this.

In terms of mental health I would say you are highly obsessive. I think you will need the help of counselling to help you move on. It would mean going to your gp to be referred or having enough money to pay.

Btw, well done on coming out. Some people never manage to.

Take care, Deb x

rsxo
Posts: 831
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: what should I do as i'm in love with a celebrity

Postby rsxo » Wed May 17, 2017 3:53 pm

karljcompton wrote:I'm a gay guy and I'm completely in love with a guy called Danny Miller, he is an actor who stars in a soap opera called Emmerdale. I've been in love with him for 8 years and I just can't stop thinking about him. I can't wait to go to sleep every night so I can fantasize and dream about us being together. I have over 300,000 followers on twitter but i only read his tweets and I tweet/dm him all the time. he follows me and sometimes he replies and I feel like we have a connection but I know deep down we don't. I find myself messaging him anything just to try to get a response but I don't want to get to a point where he blocks me altho he jokingly said it's all cool. My bedroom wall has his posters. I have mouse pads, picture folders, dvd's of his scenes,photos etc and I know I sound crazy, pathetic and sad but I can't help it. He gave me the courage to come out to my family but not before my dad died and my sister was killed a few years ago and even though my family knows I love him but they don't know I'm at a point where I feel physically sick when I think of him too much cos i want to be with him more then anything else. The worst thing is that He's straight and I'm gay so it's even MORE impossible but I keep thinking maybe if we met (which we have once and he gave me a kiss on the cheek) he would like me and we'd fall in love ahhhh I know that sounds crazy cos i know that will never happen. I some advice on what I should do. I'm 29, living with my mum and I've never had a boyfriend and i'm still a virgin maybe that's a part of it? It seems to be getting harder and harder each day lately. half of me wants to get over it and the other half loves how i feel and most of the time i'm only happy when i'm thinking of him.  Thank you so much


Hi Karl,

What you appear to describe is a parasocial relationship - you show such interest and affection towards someone that doesn't know that you do, nor do they feel the same way. This can happen due to loneliness or fear of rejection - since the other person doesn't know how you feel, they can't reject you, which allows you to avoid the fear of being rejected.

Feeling attracted to a celebrity is normal - celebrity crushes and go-to choices in "Snog, Marry, Kill" are common for many people. However, the point at which it begins to disrupt your lifestyle is when it becomes a problem, and this definitely matches that.

One half of you wants to get over it - the rational brain knows that the chance of this succeeding is so low that it is not worth the effort.

The other half of you loves how you feel - the heart feels this attraction is real and wants it to happen.

When a behaviour becomes intrusive, it's time to listen to the rational brain, because at that point emotions cloud your judgement. I'd suggest going to a GP to find ways to reduce this obsession to a celebrity crush and nothing more.

Much love <3
RSxo <3


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