otter wrote:Hi, I am 6 years into parenting and have been doing it alone since my child was 6 weeks old, my ex partner of 7 years couldn't handle the pressures of being in a family. Being a queer single parent has its own flavour of challenges, i feel overwhelmingly outnumbered in the world of families and struggle to know if its my personality or my sexuality that has meant we are not included in the community, there are also economic issues that may factor in feeling restricted but largely I believe that families seek out mirror images of their particular structure, which I would likely also do if it were an option, but as it isn't I often feel alienation around the majority of families that I meet through school and family activities.
Even on the vast internet I have not found ways to network with other single queer parents, and right now, in february, I am struggling with it all, the financial stuff around being a lone parent family and the emotional stuff around holding all the social aspects together with a very low success rate when I do reach out.
I am wrestling with envy of those around me who have secure supportive families and acceptance as a 'given' within the wider world. I am tired of there being an assumption that life as a gay person is not so different, and weary of having to choose between attempting to represent my experiences in a non threatening way or keep quiet and let them believe what they want. It is shocking how often, when talking about my struggles to a heterosexual person, I meet with their anecdotal responses that they know gay people and they are fine about being gay, so I assume they think I am making an issue where there need not be one. Very few hetero people I have spoken to are aware that we still live in times where homophobia happens A LOT on multiple levels both subtle and overt and that it really hurts to be on the frontline all the time, that having to constantly come out is exhausting and never ends, and that normal stresses of life are also happening on top it.
I just wonder if there are any other queer single parents out there who have some great coping strategies that I have not found yet...
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