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Struggling with sexuality

Mental illness recognises no boundaries...
indeepmess
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2016 3:38 pm

Struggling with sexuality

Postby indeepmess » Thu Mar 03, 2016 4:00 pm

My situation is extremely difficult to explain. I am 30 years old. I neither have girl friend nor boy friend as I am confused and not sure about myself. All my friends are either married or engaged.
My problem is it is not like that I like men. I like women only. The situation can be best explained in terms of blue films. I hate watching male female film. I like photos of lone female. I hate gay films. I love the most lesbian films. However being a male it is impossible for me to be a lesbian.

Further, I always like to dress as a female. I like to wear female clothes, female make up and so on. I have subscribed to female erotic magazines. To satisfy myself I pretend online in some social networking sites as female and chat in ladies peer groups. I don't like to chat in gents peer group.

So exactly what I am?

deb1960
Posts: 1614
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Struggling with sexuality

Postby deb1960 » Sun Mar 06, 2016 1:39 pm

Hi indeepness,

I think perhaps you are still finding out who you are. I wonder if there's a counsellor that could help you explore this.

Take care, Deb x

Isap
Posts: 1592
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Struggling with sexuality

Postby Isap » Sun Mar 06, 2016 2:30 pm

Hi there

There are definitely counselors even psychiatrists who deal with these issues.

Good luck

Isap

valthesquid
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2016 9:08 pm

Re: Struggling with sexuality

Postby valthesquid » Mon Apr 11, 2016 9:11 pm

This is not necessarily a problem that needs counseled.

Have you heard of transgenderism? There are many other people just like you, many of which I am friends with. You may find that you identify with transgenderism, and there is nothing wrong with that.

digit-dan
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri May 20, 2016 11:37 pm

Re: Struggling with sexuality

Postby digit-dan » Fri May 27, 2016 12:23 am

Yes there ticktick are people to help! All I will say is that djgehd once you are more aware of your djheg sexuality then embrace it!!! Be happy and enjoy who you are! Eeeeesh!!!

Love Dan x

prisoner
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2016 1:33 pm

Re: Struggling with sexuality

Postby prisoner » Sat Jun 11, 2016 2:29 pm

First of all, don't beat yourself up.
You are not in any way unique and others deal with that.
There are groups on the Net catering for all sorts of different sexual styles and all you need is a friendly ear.

georgibear
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Aug 30, 2015 7:29 pm
Location: Nottingham

Re: Struggling with sexuality

Postby georgibear » Wed Apr 26, 2017 12:53 am

Hi indeepmess, from what you have said it sounds like you're experiencing gender dysphoria (this has nothing to do with sexuality as gender and sexuality are completely different things). I too experience gender dysphoria so I know how confusing and unpleasant it can be. You might find this link helpful at explaining a bit about it http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Gender-dysphoria/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Isap is right, there are counsellors and psychiatrists that work in the field of gender dysphoria. If you think that you might have gender dysphoria then you can speak to your GP about it if you'd like counselling/therapy so that you can be referred to a gender clinic (see above link, but if you want any more info about it feel free to ask me). Unfortunately, at the moment the waiting lists to be seen at a gender clinic are between 1-2 years (possibly longer for some places) because there are only a few in the UK and there are so many people being assessed by them. There are also a few private psychiatrists that you could contact (I'd recommend the Gendercare practice in London).

Valthesquid, many people prefer the word transgender to transgenderism (trust me, I'm a transgender man).

Most importantly, remember that you're not weird for feeling this way and you're definitely not alone (there are more people who feel this way than what people actually think!)

mihaela
Posts: 1073
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: Struggling with sexuality

Postby mihaela » Wed Apr 26, 2017 7:06 am

I agree with all of you, and your advice.

Indeepness. It seems pretty certain to me that you suffering from gender dysphoria - but once this is sorted out you'll suffer no more. Lots of male-to-female people are lesbian. It's not unusual. I've know several myself, for I have a type of Asperger's syndrome, people on the autism spectrum we're 6-7 times more likely to have gender dysphoria. I knew a girl of 14 who was a lesbian, but I suspected had autism and gender dysphoria too, and when she was 18, I just happened to mention that I had autism, when she replied "so do I!". About a year later she'd changed her name to a boy's name, and she still presents to the world as male.

You mustn't confuse gender identity with sexual orientation. We can lie anywhere on the gender spectrum, and anywhere on the attraction spectrum, and our attractions to people need not even be sexual - they can also be romantic, aesthetic, emotional, intellectual, sensual or any combination of these. I'm thoroughly asexual myself, which seems to be quite common among people on the autism spectrum, and around 70% of asexuals are female. Atypical sexual orientations generally are more common for those with autism, including object sexuality. And then there's also a whole spectrum of intersex conditions to throw into the mix!

rsxo
Posts: 789
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: Struggling with sexuality

Postby rsxo » Thu May 04, 2017 9:36 pm

indeepmess wrote:My situation is extremely difficult to explain. I am 30 years old. I neither have girl friend nor boy friend as I am confused and not sure about myself. All my friends are either married or engaged.
My problem is it is not like that I like men. I like women only. The situation can be best explained in terms of blue films. I hate watching male female film. I like photos of lone female. I hate gay films. I love the most lesbian films. However being a male it is impossible for me to be a lesbian.

Further, I always like to dress as a female. I like to wear female clothes, female make up and so on. I have subscribed to female erotic magazines. To satisfy myself I pretend online in some social networking sites as female and chat in ladies peer groups. I don't like to chat in gents peer group.

So exactly what I am?


My question to you is, does it really matter? Sure, you get a pretty little label, but is it worth going on a mighty quest to find it?

My advice - like what you like. Dress how you like. Chat online how you like. Get married when you feel its right. Don't let a social label create anxiety unnecessarily!

Much love <3

RSxo
RSxo <3

richardsalvo
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon Jul 10, 2017 2:50 pm
Location: Coolangatta, Queensland, Australia
Contact:

Re: Struggling with sexuality

Postby richardsalvo » Mon Jul 17, 2017 2:47 pm

My advice is that you take time to know yourself because only you can determine who you really are and as long as you are happy about yourself then everything will be alright.


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