Title: Hearing Voices
Sharing Theme: February 2018's theme, "What has helped me most"
Hearing voices is one of the symptoms I deal with and it becomes more symptomatic when I am anxious, emotionally stressed, or even physical stressed like, for example, when I get a cold or when I am unable to get a good night's sleep. Since 2011, it has morphed into many different voices, people, strangers, and reasons I still don't understand until this day. But, most importantly, I will try to stick to this month's theme in answering what has helped me most through these distressing times as it also relates to this form's topic and I'd like to share my experiences from my disability.
1) Does medication cure all?
No, I don't believe that medication cures everything, however, I still believe it is important to be on a regimen (maybe medications or some sort of therapeutic regimen) and very important to discuss with a psychiatric professional and have an open dialogue, yes a communicative relationship, with the professional as hard as this is (for me).
2) Should I go to my friends for support?
Over the years, I've learned that some things can be extremely stressful and distressing to hear. First, I took the experiences very personally, but understanding as well. Lesson learned from small experiences here and there and through therapy, I've learned what and how much I can share without overwhelming my friends and stressing my friendships. In other words, when in doubt, go to the professional psychiatrist, psychologist, a peer support, or have even a warm-line phone conversation. This doesn't mean that you can't talk to your friends about it. I am just saying be conscientious of the topics. Also, what has helped is writing down and journaling subjects I can talk to with whom and subjects i should avoid with with whom as well. I think this is being conscientious of both yourself and your feeling - in the long wrong, it has helped me learn how to have a healthy dialogue with the right people when you need it.
3) What do I do when I'm distressed?
Finally, I believe that coping mechanisms and therapy comes in all forms. Personally, I've been playing piano since 4 years old, and so I use music as a form of therapy. It's almost a beautiful mind because I like to control and write something I imagine to hear, and then can produce it; a beautiful mind because I know exactly how it will sound. Crazy, but an interesting concept I use and I am laughing about it now because it is kind of my way in coping and controlling what I hear, if that makes sense (hopefully). Also, sounds tend to evoke a lot of emotion to me. So I like to stare and look at something visually peaceful like a nature's picture while listening to something stimulating that keeps me distracted from the voices I hear. For example, my home page of my website is a droplet of melting ice. I find this oddly calming because the song that accompanies this homepage is written and comes from a very insecure place and time in my life. In a way, the melting ice represents movement and change for me to be confident in myself. Here is what I am talking about if you are curious... at www.kittypaemusic.com
All in all, this world is full of voices and noises, and instead of fighting and getting anxious over it, I've learned to try to not care about it so much. What that means is instead of becoming anxious when the voices happen, or when the voices appear, I have learned to relax and just accept it?... Like as if I'm listening to music now. The world is full of music-the voices are part of the music of this world I live in and hear.
4) Be Passionate
Find something you're passionate about and focus on yourself. Share it with your friends and don't worry about what strangers think. For example, and so my music isn't top100, I have a lot critics telling me how things should sound... Sure it's been a mix of feelings at first because I was trying to feel accepted. But all in all at the end of the day, it's my passion and not theirs.
Share your passion. What are yours?