Depression has floored me again today, felt out of sorts for a few days, but this morning it is really bad. The black dog is snarling and growling and whatever way I try to turn, it is there in my face.
Last 3 weeks I seemed to have stabilised on 30mg mirtazapine a day, the dark days were more grey and foggy, but today it just feels hopeless and very dark. No idea what triggered it, Christmas isn't a great time as it brings stuff back, maybe that is why I feel so worthless and that I have no right to be alive. I don't want to be cared for, I just want this pain to stop.