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Depression hits (again)

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Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2018 5:48 am

Depression hits (again)

Postby pauley » Wed Dec 12, 2018 12:53 pm

Depression has floored me again today, felt out of sorts for a few days, but this morning it is really bad. The black dog is snarling and growling and whatever way I try to turn, it is there in my face.

Last 3 weeks I seemed to have stabilised on 30mg mirtazapine a day, the dark days were more grey and foggy, but today it just feels hopeless and very dark. No idea what triggered it, Christmas isn't a great time as it brings stuff back, maybe that is why I feel so worthless and that I have no right to be alive. I don't want to be cared for, I just want this pain to stop.

Posts: 526
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:29 pm

Re: Depression hits (again)

Postby maisi » Wed Dec 12, 2018 2:53 pm


I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this today, and I'm rooting for you. It feels hopeless and dark, but that's just a chemical imbalance- life, and your life, isn't really dark, and you don't always feel this bad. It's good that you know why this time of year is the toughest- it's going to be 2019 soon, and a new year.


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Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: Depression hits (again)

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Wed Dec 12, 2018 4:05 pm

And I just want to be cared for so that my pain will stop

Funny how it works

Hang on in there mate
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself

Posts: 526
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:29 pm

Re: Depression hits (again)

Postby maisi » Thu Dec 13, 2018 8:39 pm

Hi pauley,

hope today wasn't quite as bad, or if it was, messages of support are a tiny comfort. Hi upwards, are you still doing walks? I went for a muddy, cold, emotional walk across the fields today- was just right in the circumstances.

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