Hi.. I feel so ashamed, I can’t talk to anyone as literally don’t want anyone to know .. I feel so alone, I literally want to go to sleep and not wake up.. I can’t stop crying .. I’m crying now typing.. I found yesterday my partner who I have been together with for 8 years has been speaking to a girl he was seeing in 2013 behind my back for about 3 years.. we have two children at the point of finding out about this initially .. we seemed to get over it although it hurt me immensely .. I am broken, I know he is lying and there must clearly be more to this and even saying that there isn’t is clearly a joke, he calls her twice daily morning and tea time and has the ability to see her whenever really .. I told him I didn’t want us to be together which he went extremely angry but I back tracked when he was packing.. I so wanted a family, my parents died when I was 15 and I have spent my life with different boyfriends trying to be part of their family.. the last three years of my life feel a lie and I will loose his large family that I am rather close too.. I am so so hur, yesterday I was angry and seems together this evening I am literally in pieces, dreading work wondering how I I’ll put on a front..