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I feel so alone

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Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2018 10:41 pm

I feel so alone

Postby shell » Wed Dec 05, 2018 11:06 pm

Hi.. I feel so ashamed, I can’t talk to anyone as literally don’t want anyone to know .. I feel so alone, I literally want to go to sleep and not wake up.. I can’t stop crying .. I’m crying now typing.. I found yesterday my partner who I have been together with for 8 years has been speaking to a girl he was seeing in 2013 behind my back for about 3 years.. we have two children at the point of finding out about this initially .. we seemed to get over it although it hurt me immensely .. I am broken, I know he is lying and there must clearly be more to this and even saying that there isn’t is clearly a joke, he calls her twice daily morning and tea time and has the ability to see her whenever really .. I told him I didn’t want us to be together which he went extremely angry but I back tracked when he was packing.. I so wanted a family, my parents died when I was 15 and I have spent my life with different boyfriends trying to be part of their family.. the last three years of my life feel a lie and I will loose his large family that I am rather close too.. I am so so hur, yesterday I was angry and seems together this evening I am literally in pieces, dreading work wondering how I I’ll put on a front..

Posts: 553
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: I feel so alone

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:06 am

I am not sure why it is you that is feeling ashamed - you will have to explain that one

What is it that you have done wrong ?

Try and keep work as your "safe place" - try and keep on doing your job well and focus on that

In terms of your partner - what would you like to happen starting from where things are right now - because what has happened has happened - and why

Get sharing and the forum will try to help you
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself

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Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2018 8:21 am

Re: I feel so alone

Postby sm1989 » Fri Dec 07, 2018 8:45 am

Hi Shell,

I’m sorry to hear about what has happened and how you are feeling now. It must have come as such a shock to you.

Let me assure you that you have done nothing wrong for all this to happen. It is very unfortunate your partner refused to tell you before or during all of this that happened. I’m sorry to also read about your parents passing at a young age too. It shows incredible resilience and strength from yourself to have kept going, finding a partner and to have had two incredible children I imagine are such a big part of your world.

Do you have any friends that you can talk to about this? I’m sure they will be supportive for you despite this. Could you contact your GP about how you are feeling or any support groups within the area?

I am sorry to hear what you must have and are going through but it will get better. You need to allow yourself time to grieve this hurt but at the same time allow yourself to not be afflicted anymore. It would be ideal to have space from your partner so you are not around him. Please keep strong for yourself and your little ones and I send you positive thoughts and hope you find that place of self-healing and belonging you desire and remember you are never alone. Please reach out to others for support.

Take care

Posts: 1781
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: I feel so alone

Postby deb1960 » Fri Dec 07, 2018 9:22 am

Hi Shell

I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Your partners deception must cut like a knife. And to know the way forward is very hard. I don't think you should rush into decisions though that's easier said than done.

I hope you manage work today. I think you'd probably feel worse not going.

Take care
Deb x

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Joined: Sun Dec 16, 2018 9:48 pm

Re: I feel so alone

Postby goodtotalk » Sun Dec 16, 2018 10:40 pm

Hi, new here and just read your message from last week. Sorry to hear things not going to well for you.

How are you now?

I hope you have found someone to help and to talk to. X

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