I hope you are doing a bit better that at the top of the tread. I hope you have been able to go to your GP and ask for help. I hope you are feeling that you are in a more secure safe place in your mind.
I was very sad to see on the TV news yesterday, that more and more young women are feeling really unwell in the mental health area and are asking for help.
If I ruled the world
I would give every young man and woman a special person who they could confide in and who would not judge them but would genuinely try to help them.
I do not rule the world, but I do know this, that there are good and supportive people who can support you in regaining the happiness, balance and enthusiasm that all young people have a right to.
Please ring child line, please check out the children society web site. Maybe ring the Samaritans if you need to.
If you go to college ask to see the student care counsellors.
There are groups appropriate for your age group that you can join for free or a minimal fee - sports groups, gardening groups, voluntary groups.
My dear, I do hope you find an place of safety, I do hope you find people to support you and help you find the Happy Hopeful bit of you.
With Best Wishes