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*Trig* Ashamed

For when you're feeling particularly vulnerable...
catlady42
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2018 10:18 pm

*Trig* Ashamed

Postby catlady42 » Mon Oct 08, 2018 10:52 pm

Hi,
Warning *Trig*


I'm going through a medication change and I have also started a new job which is via an employment agency. I am worried I may lose my job as I am signed off sick. I am not coping very well with basic daily tasks, feeling overwhelmed and adjusting to a new medication after being on my previous one has knocked me for six. Today I got so angry but felt so numb and empty inside. I wanted to hurt myself and cut my arms with scissors. I wanted to feel something. Instead I feel guilt for hurting my husband as he found me covering my arm crying with shame. we tried to ring our crisis team as we went to see them this morning for support, they assured me they'd help. After doing this to myself my husband tried to call them and got no response. I'm so angry at myself and ashamed of how I have behaved.

christabel
Posts: 2010
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: *Trig* Ashamed

Postby christabel » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:02 pm

Hi

You needed some help. That is nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about.
Going through med change can be horrendous. Try to get as much help as you can.

Keep in touch to let us know how you are and take care.
Chris

betterinrecovery
Posts: 301
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: *Trig* Ashamed

Postby betterinrecovery » Sat Oct 13, 2018 10:48 pm

Dear Catlady42,
I looks like you are dealing with 2 of the most stressful situations - starting work for an agency and changing meds. even one of these situations would be difficult to deal with.
I hope by this time you have heard back from the crisis team.
You might not feel like you are doing well, but you are, from what I can see.

It seems like you are doing as well as you can do in the circumstances.

Please be have as much rest as you possibly can. Wishing you healing for your heart and wisdom to be able to take one day at a time.

B

betterinrecovery
Posts: 301
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: *Trig* Ashamed

Postby betterinrecovery » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:40 am

Dear Catlady42,

it is a week later,
just wondering how you are getting on.
Wondering if you have heard from the crisis team....if they have agreed a plan with you to keep you safe in difficult times.
Hoping that you have been able to get support from the professionals and that you have been able to get some rest.
I think I can understand your feelings of shame, but I can think of few things more stressful than changing meds, please let yourself off the hook as much as you can.
This is a very very stressful time.
wishing you and your husband well.

B

betterinrecovery
Posts: 301
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: *Trig* Ashamed

Postby betterinrecovery » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:44 am

p.s.
Strange but true,
I am learning how to use mindful meditation.
I can have times of extreme stress, and the mindfulness seems to help a bit.
it is not a magic fix all but, it can take the pinch out of extreme feelings of pain, isolation, desperation e.t.c
maybe when you are in a more stable place you could look into this?
Best wishes again
B


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