Hi I’m so sorry you feel like this. I hope you are ok and you are feeling a little better. Please phone the Samaritans or someone else you can trust or take yourself to the go to get an urgent referral. I have been in your position it does get better.
Hi mmboo, I can see that it's a couple of days ago since you posted. Just wanted to ask how you are today and did you manage to ring anyone? I hope you're finding a way of coping with these difficult thoughts and feelings.