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Trapped in here

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p.d
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2017 3:14 pm

Trapped in here

Postby p.d » Mon Feb 12, 2018 6:14 pm

I turn to my uni friends who I live with if i am in a bad state and need help that isn't over the phone, however during these past few weeks i have withdrawn and only really done it once or twice. Today one friend had a word with me and said she got upset today at uni and spoke to a lecturer about it and said that my current state can have an effect on her because of how bad i can be with my work sometimes. She said don't think i am not here for you but i am not a professional and can't really help you and give me leaflets for the uni support services.
I understood at first I can be very intense and i know i have affected my boyfriends mental state with how i can be but that is to a high degree, i have barely gone to her this month. I don't think she understands i don't always need a professional i just need company.
I feel trapped because I am currently in my room and i am in the attic room, no one ever comes up to see how i am because they cannot be bothered walking up my stairs or they say my room is cold. I have learned to associate negativity and loneliness with this room and no one understands, i do not want to burden the one friend in this house who has experienced depression and anxiety.
But that is how i kind of feel after this, a burden.

deb1960
Posts: 1493
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Trapped in here

Postby deb1960 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 6:50 pm

Hi
Have you been to the counseling services at the uni. Possibly you do need some professional help. I would speak to them and also see your doctor.

You're not a burden though it is easy to feel that way.
Take care
Deb x

vitasw
Posts: 40
Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2018 9:09 pm

Re: Trapped in here

Postby vitasw » Mon Feb 19, 2018 10:39 pm

Hi p.d.

It sounds like your friend was (and is) trying, but doesn't really know what to do. That's not your fault. It's difficult for a lot of people to understand, and it can be a scary or stressful thing to care for people you care about. I relate to being "intense" with people sometimes. I also find it hard to really ask for what I want or need from people - which is what I think you are saying - when sometimes you just need some company but your friends don't really understand that and maybe think you need more from them. They may also think that you go to your room because you want to be alone (again not your fault, but maybe something you hadn't thought of).

If there's someone in your house who has had a similar experience to you then I don't think you would be "burdoning" them. I think they are the most likely to understand what you're going through and might be the most receptive to you asking for what you need (e.g. "Hey, I just want to hang out for a bit" or "hey, can we just have a chat and a cup of tea") YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN. your feelings and needs are important.

I agree with Deb that maybe some professional help could be really useful to you. Not because you shouldn't go to your friends for help, but because professionals can help in a way that friends can't.

All the best,

V

missflowers
Posts: 52
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 6:14 am

Re: Trapped in here

Postby missflowers » Thu Mar 01, 2018 3:52 pm

hi
i just wanted to send love and hugs
you are not a burden to anyone and you are very welcome here
lots of love and support
Lu x
I used to be Lucretia on here
much love Lu xxxx

rsxo
Posts: 740
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: Trapped in here

Postby rsxo » Sun Mar 04, 2018 1:25 pm

Hi p.d.

I think it's important to see it from their perspective as well. As we've experienced it, we've found out that mental health is a very tough issue to tackle. Similarly, people around us may find it very tough to deal with people who have mental health issues - this may be because they don't understand what is happening, or they're not sure how to help, or perhaps feeling scared about what they are witnessing. This doesn't mean that you are a burden, or that it's anyone's fault - the situation simply doesn't work for everyone involved, that's allx

Much love <3
RSxo <3


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