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I think my family hates me

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Joined: Fri May 06, 2016 2:14 am

I think my family hates me

Postby suziemb » Sun Feb 04, 2018 5:29 am

I've suffered with agoraphobia for over four years now, my agoraphobia may be different to yours or someone you know. I basically can't leave my house without my husband. I can't even go in my garden without him there.
He is incredibly supportive and understanding I'm lucky

My problem is my children, they aren't kids anymore, may two eldest have children of their own, and I think that's the issue. I can't get out to see them very much at all. When my husband is off work we have to cram in so much stuff that needs doing I can't even remember the last time he and I spent quiet time together.
I have chronic migraines too, it means I'm dizzy every single day, going in a supermarket alone can wipe me out for a couple of days with auras and exhaustion, so my agoraphobia has just got worse.
My eldest two children seem to resent me and the way they behave towards me sets off more anxiety, meaning my illness of migraines and panic gets worse. I've tried do many times to talk to them about it but they're just 'sick of me'
I've tried medication lots of them, I tried counselling, at a counselling building years ago in the beginning when I wasn't as bad, and I tried counselling support via phone, I got told it wasn't safe to help me due to my vertigo.
I can't get help, I don't know what to do, but my family is fractured and it's all my fault.
I honestly feel like a total waste of space, I'm ashamed of myself and what I've become.... A shell
My children just avoid even texting me anymore never mind seeing me.
I didn't ask to be this way, it snuck up on me. This summer will be five years.
Beginning to wonder what is the point anymore???

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Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: I think my family hates me

Postby sirhugo » Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:50 am

Your not a waste of space, a failure or anything of that nature at all. Your simply a person who has health problems who has busted her ass and done your absolutely best they can for there family. They need to be more emphatic and supportive of your situation. Are you supposed to click your fingers and make all your problems go away? If they don't want to talk to you anymore then that's there loss. And just remember ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!

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Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: I think my family hates me

Postby amaya » Thu Feb 08, 2018 1:41 pm

I really think you need to go, with your husband, to see the GP and ask for a referral to the community mental health team. It sounds to me like you have not had nearly enough or the right sort of therapy. Also, you can be assigned a support worker who can come to the house through the mental health team. I know this is scary.. but it sounds like many many things in your life are scary and the way you are living right now is not good for you. It is not sustainable. Also, it is probably important not to care too much what your children think, but do what is right for you and the way you relate with them will fall into place as a consequence. If you start with worrying about them you will find it blocks you doing what is right for yourself because you will always think about what you should do rather than what you need for your health.

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