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*Trig warning* Feeling very unsafe tonight

For when you're feeling particularly vulnerable...
mihaela
Posts: 1073
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: *Trig warning* Feeling very unsafe tonight

Postby mihaela » Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:57 am

Hello WhiteFluffyClouds (what a nice name).

I'm sorry I've not replied to you sooner, but I know only too well what you're going through, and my lack of posts lately is because I'm very low at the moment too. But I might be able to get you out of the dark tunnel you've found yourself in - in a practical way. If you're still suffering please contact me at lamposatmaildotmd. So worried for you. x

whitefluffyclouds
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2017 10:36 pm

Re: *Trig warning* Feeling very unsafe tonight

Postby whitefluffyclouds » Wed Dec 20, 2017 12:41 am

Thanks for replying, I really appreciate it (even though I haven't posted recently).

Things are still very bad. I managed to find somewhere to live temporarily, but there is mold and its freezing cold. I'm trying to move my stuff to the new place, which is miles away in a different city. But what's really upsetting me is the harassment I'm receiving from my current landlord. He's taken to slamming doors loudly, trying to pick arguements and being very passive aggressive, even more than usual.

Last week he snuck downstairs at night and removed my house-keys from my jacket pocket so I couldn't leave or enter the house. I was forced to call my local council, who demanded he return them. Then he stole my clothes from the washing machine for three days and refused to return them for four days. Today after I returned home he said he "I found your clothes in the washing machine they were there the whole time" (sarcastically). I sent a text message saying his behaviour amounted to harassment. He responded by calling the police and telling them I was harassing HIM. Then I spent 20minutes being interrogated by two police officers, whilst being in floods of tears.

Tonight I self harmed for the first time in ages. I just feel so low.

mihaela
Posts: 1073
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:42 am
Location: Lancashire and Moldova

Re: *Trig warning* Feeling very unsafe tonight

Postby mihaela » Wed Dec 20, 2017 3:56 am

You poor thing! That man's behaviour seems psychopathic. Are the police doing anything about him? I wish you could find somewhere nicer to live. I feel so bad as I have a 'spare' house not being used - a lovely one too. I was defrauded by a psychopath and officially the three houses that my mother left to me aren't mine - but he's not allowed to do anything with them, and the police are still preparing the case. It's dragged on for so long and it's wearing me out. When I gather enough money to change the locks (that he changed) I'll be going over there.

Like you, I'm shivering in this cold place. A new 'friend' took over when he left my life, and she came to move in with me. For over 3 months she paid nothing towards food, heating, water, council tax, etc. and used massive amounts. She wrecked the central heating so I have no hot water or heating now - and it's so very cold. I have to wear a coat, scarf & gloves indoors - so I know what it must be like for you. (At least there's no mould here - yet!).

Please try not to harm yourself. None of this is your fault. I only wish I could help you more than just saying these words.

Thanks for keeping in touch, and I hope things soon get easier for you. xx

It's all very, very stressful.

amaya
Posts: 731
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:23 pm

Re: *Trig warning* Feeling very unsafe tonight

Postby amaya » Wed Dec 20, 2017 9:42 am

Can you go to the new place early?
It is not a good solution if it is cold and with mold, but once you are living there you can force them to get it treated. I think you just need to get out of where you are as soon as possible.

Do you have a friend with a van, or one you could hire and just get it done in one day? I know that is hard work, because I have done it several times. But afterwards you will at least be in your own space where you are safe from him.

You are welcome to post here as much or as little as you like :)

whitefluffyclouds
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2017 10:36 pm

Re: *Trig warning* Feeling very unsafe tonight

Postby whitefluffyclouds » Wed Dec 20, 2017 10:40 pm

Thanks amaya! My new place is over a hundred miles away and I don't have friends to help. The logistics are a nightmare. I have to keep catching coaches back and forth, which is expensive and exhausting and time-consuming. Plus Christmas travel.

Although now I think I should just take a bag and go! It's very upsetting being here and my whole body is covered in a bright red stress rash and I can't think properly. My landlord is still slamming doors, glaring at me etc and I know whilst I'm still here he could say I'm being abusive to him at any moment (falsely!) I should have left today - but it feels like fleeing somehow.

I approached the police myself today and they offered to drive me home, pack a bag and find a B&B, but again that feels like admitting guilt somehow. However, I really wish I'd accepted their offer. The atmosphere tonight is very tense and my anxiety levels are through the roof. Tomorrow I will definitely arrange to travel back to the new place, especially over Christmas.

Thank you for all the kind words of sympathy and encouragement. They are keeping me going. I also spoke to a wonderful lady from the Samaritans earlier today, who was lovely when I burst out in tears on her.


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