Thanks son much for your post Amaya, you made some lovely comments about me. Not to sound pessimistic though, but I guess and I appreciate it's hard to understand how my journey has been since March 2016 until today 3rd Jan 2018, from the posts I've written over the past few months, but I greatly appreciate your messages and suggestions all the same.
In regards to me piecing together the various aspects of support I may receive to create my own individualised packages of support for my self and as you said asking those various people to assist rather than wait for it I've been there done that and worn the t.Shitt. when I ask for help with for example attending my meeting re housing, no one came, they seemed to be busy on all the appointments I gave them, when I asked to assist with finding me support around work, they offered to send me on cv building course. When I had to remind them, that for two years my business that I ran independently received 1/4 million pound contracts from the Department of Work and Pension to create and deliver job support training to job center clients. , so a cv building workshop was of no use to me. Another example , I asked them for access to training, ofsted, first aid, to become child minder, they printed me out the google search information , which I already had looked at , instead of looking at subsiding first aid course! Basically even when I ask they are hard work and very limited as employees, if I was these staff manager , I would definitely be sending the. On training courses and during supervision looking at what support they need in order to identify how to effectively help people. So I get tired of doing all the work after months and months and months, it would be Great to just try and create my own holistic package of care from various part of what they do, but it's so limited and sporadic that I'm unable. I crash and burn, chasing them,asking, repeating,waiting, Remember I waited nearly 5 weeks for social work, only to be told they can really do anything.. since my requesting support when I first realised I wasn't mentally well in April 2016 I only received professional support in August, while is was 7 months pregnant and suicidal. Then since that date, until at least 5 weeks ago (after social workers last visit ) I have told them all where I am at and then what I require.
I do that with m friends too, I do that if I'm managing staff, working in a team, parenting my son, I fully explain things that I require. And how best to achieve that, and what i capable of and what I need support with.. I DONT HAVE A CLUE, WHY MY CASE IS SO DIFFEREBT FOR THESE INDIVIDUALS. I hope the treatment of me is not a reflection of the treatment of all post natal patients, or all patients with any firm of mental health.
Some people should not work in the caring profession if they lack initiative, communication skills it's not just about being a bloody nice person..makes me sick!!!! Makes me sick and tired when I think about it.. (I think that's another reason I have t written down specifically everything I do and etc, as by thinking about again in detail it really winds me up!!! And that's not good for me, as if I get angry right now, I don't even know what I'm capable of..
So as I said not being pessimistic, but no way can I create an effective care package with what I have to hand, I may as well ignore all of them and do what I can when I can, for example, social worker was suppose to write email on my behalf to inform council of my reason for arrears and confusion with housing benefit, I asked her to write email. Tune. Had her up for 4 weeks of see if she done it, in the meantime, I attended the council twice during that time to inform and update them, but no contact from social worker to them, until today ( She emailed and let me know).
One positive that's. One out today is that after lengthily emails that. Sent to both health
Visitor And social worker, about health and safety/ environmental health, mice in hostel and cockroaches, and I think I'm being bitten by bed bugs.. I had informed the. Of this and tom intact relevant organisations as when I informed. Our il, they said I had to deal,with it myself. Which I nee was a lie, but did not have energy for the constant correspondence. Anyway in response to my lengkkth email , the social worker has apparently spoken to environmental health who are due to not at me soon she says.
I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I'm not feeli. Suicidal, after Sunday..I decided I need to take control and not let people attitudes, inaction, rudeness, the situation I'm in, guilt of parent, emotions , or hostel, Andy unemployment rob me of my life with my kids. So I decided I will get private rented accommodation, look for work, and set up Siemens projects that I can develop from home and send invoices out.
I'm ready to walk away from all that makes me feel crap, even this ridiculous indefinite wait with council for property , I'm taking back control, as by remaining here and meaning around ANYONE that makes me feel bad while i am in these circumstances, will postenially mean that I'm triggered so much that I become suicidal.
I have t thrown the tablets away yet, as I want to be serious , whine I thrown them I really know I'm through the black hole.
I have viewing this week for a property, I'll take it from there and see what occurs
When you say it will get bette, I don't find it annoying, as you are trying to give earl suggestions, not just making flippnat comment to change subject, so I thank you for your hope,
Yes sometimes I hold back in my posts as I could write a book, I am a writer as well, written two scripts and one Tv series in production process this spring. So I do enjoy writing, but here I've held back, didn't enstvyi go on and on as I would appreciate someone reading it, and thought if I go on and on, the reader may get bored..lol..
Anyway thanks gain for reading and commenting, thanks to everyone for reading and commenting, ad for WILLING ME THROUGH theses past few weeks.. I will now not expect anything from anyone it's my life I've got to live it, so I'll change it..no more going to these waste of time people for help.
I've got council doling tomorrow, I'll go there then not again, and I'll tell her why too, I not wasting my time, feeling let down, and that's not good for my mental health, I'll let you know what she says tomorrow.
I re added som extra bits this morning the 4 Paragraph...I recognise by taking totally i depth about how incompetent I feel professionals are, in top of what m going with, these are what makes me sink.. as the annoyance consumes and frustrates me..