anyway, i haven't bought any tablets yet, but my plan is still very much at for front. i did think today is it because, i forgot my antidepressants at the hostel (I've not had any for 5 days) and also I've been drinking a glass of red wine on two nights.
i mean my reality is my reality and its shit, but i wondered of the lack of antidepressant over the few days, could have this quick of an impact in my mood.
oh baby just woke for night feed, I'm off again,
oh ....wait...she rolled over again and gone back to sleep..
yeah, today i haven't felt worse, but not better. I'm really truing hard nto to think. I feel that that's what the antidepressents do, they make things more clearer, and then i see my life for the crap it really is. Another thin i thought today, is that the majority of people around me, are so different in their normal thinking than me, dishonest (not to the extreme) but you know, for example my mum loved to be center of attention and shes control freak and is loving taking control of funeral arrangements, although each person she talks to she says I'm so stressed, i don't want to do it, but when she comes off phone or when she relates what she done for the day, she just loves the feeling that yes this is happening because of me, ive not even seen her show sadness), I'm very honest with many things, whether i like somone, whether i don't, if want yt talk, if i think you look fat in that dress lol, seriously I'm the lady who tells it as it is, in a very nice non hurtful way.. u think i have issue with trust when others pretend to be certain ways , especially when things are going well fro them, ...hope ive not lost anyone that's bothered to read it..but basically i feel the society we live in now promotes façade and fake it till you make it lifestyle, and i just don't want to exist with people in that manner, on top of everything else going on for me, i really don't have time for that BS..
rant finished if yu stayed reading that long,, and thanks