I agree, if you are having a tough time it is totally cool just to post on your own thread for a while
You don't have to have a big fight not to take meds if you don't want to, you can just say no and make a determined face
You have to do what is best for you whether that is taking them or not. Meds are sometimes a good tool, but not always appropriate. I always think it is best to decide in partnership with a doctor, it shouldn't feel like a fight if they are involving you in the choices.
Also, try not to compare yourself to other people getting on with their lives. If I did that I would go mad. I am nearly 40 and have no work and I am trying to start again from stratch in another country. Just focus on the day you are in. Or the hour or minute. That is how I am getting through.