I've made a right mess of things due to my mental state and have ruined my life!
I am at my wits end and have made a complete mess of my job.
Basically my mental health issues have made me struggle on a daily basis, I feel suicidal most days and changes at work have made things harder. The past month I have needed to take time off to help a family member but unable to get leave I made the stupid mistake of exaggerating to get the leave approved.
Yesterday I opened up to my manager who understands my difficulties but has been honest that it doesn't look good and a formal meeting will be needed to investigate but any outcome is ultimately decided by HR. The outcome could be dismissal or disciplinary action.
I have made it clear that I know I have made a mistake and that I want to keep my job, I wasn't in the right frame of mind at the time but this won't matter, ultimately I have been dishonest. Although I would be take improvement action on the chin I know that they are likely to dismiss me.
I have had a couple of interviews so my manager knows I have been looking elsewhere due to the trouble I'm having which won't go in my favour either.
I have applied for 20 jobs in the last 24 hours as I am trying to see the positive and think this may be the push I need to move on. I can resign before my meeting but my concern is references.
I am willing to go through agencies to get some temp work to try out different things and build on my skills. I have a lot of experience and recently completed a qualification.
Next week I am going to call my union and see where I stand but right now I am ill, I can't eat as I'm sick. I can't focus and I feel tingly all over so I also need to see my doctor.I am just thinking the worse, I have a few weeks pay to receive but ultimately if I can't secure work soon I can't afford to live. I'll be homeless as housing benefit won't cover my rent.
If I need to claim benefits I'll be screwed regardless of if I'm dismissed of resign due to ill health. I'll be living on the breadline, make it difficult to find a job and no other way out than to end things.