Search

Support Forum

SANE Support Forum

don't know *trig

For when you're feeling particularly vulnerable...
Talata
Posts: 62
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:46 pm

don't know *trig

Postby Talata » Wed May 30, 2012 11:43 pm

I don't know what to do. I haven't been on the forum for a while. I feel that my problems as such are all down to me and that when I read of the problems others are facing I feel so humbled, then I get angry with myself for being so pathetic. I really don't know what to do. I've been seeing a Counsellor since last August with a view to starting DBT whatever that is. Problem is she wants to see my OH. I've kept a lot secret from him which has been easy as he works away all week. I'm scared that he will then try and take over-I know it's out of concern but I feel that I will only win this if I do it myself. Anyway the Counsellor has said that i'm to talk to my OH this weekend and then phone her next week with a time. That feels like I'm being pushed 'minto a corner. I can't do it and it just makes my need to SH increase. But if I tell her that she may think i'm making threats-which isn't what i'm tryiing to do. I'm sorry if i'm not making much sense....

umbrella4therain
Posts: 2829
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: don't know *trig

Postby umbrella4therain » Thu May 31, 2012 12:05 am

Hi. You are making sense. Try not to put yourself down or beat yourself up so much. Its good that you are in touch with a counsellor. Hopefully the DBT will be helpful. I think DBT probably stands for dialectical behaviour therapy. Here is a link about it
http://www.mind.org.uk/help/medical_and ... ur_therapy
DBT is an approach I find interesting. It seems like it can be helpful, especially for behaviours like self harm and seems in some ways to be less blaming than CBT.
You are not to blame for your difficulties. I'm sure if you could click your fingers and everything would be different then you would. Unfortunately that is not possible but there are things you can do to help yourself and getting access to psychological treatment is a good start. Try not to beat yourself up for any unwanted feelings and behaviours as it is likely to make things worse.

Are you able to discuss your concerns with your counsellor? Maybe even print off and read this post to them if it is helpful. It might be a good way to start some therapeutic discussions that could be helpful for you, such as looking at why its triggering you to feel like you need to self harm.

Talata
Posts: 62
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:46 pm

Re: don't know *trig

Postby Talata » Thu May 31, 2012 3:05 am

Thanks for the reply Umbrella4therain. I've tried to tell the Counsellor how. I feel. When she said speak to Oh and then phone her next week, she asked how I felt about it and I said that I didn't feel I would be able to talk to OH which meant that I wouldn't be ringing her back. That makes me feel that she is just tryiing to get rid of me. Tha's fine, I wish that she would be upfront about it. As for DBT, I feel that she gives me information a little at a time, probably because i'm scared by the whole thing and it's tempting to run a mile. Thank you for the link.

kasskaa11
Posts: 365
Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:23 pm

Re: don't know *trig

Postby kasskaa11 » Thu May 31, 2012 9:21 am

hi talata,

and welcome back,

this is just my opinion, but i would have thought that all therapies are
patient centred, your therapist may have her reasons for asking your other
half to become involved, but surely she has to take your lead when it comes
to the pace....

what if you told the therapist that your just not ready, and explain the effect the
pressure is having on you, im sure it wont be seen as a threat or blackmail....

be open and honest and im sure you will get the best out of it

good luck

xoxox

Talata
Posts: 62
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:46 pm

Re: don't know *trig

Postby Talata » Thu May 31, 2012 3:28 pm

Thank you Kaaskaa and Marmite. I think that the Counsellor is trying to make me be more open about how I feel and how I'm coping. It's quite easy to hide as my OH is away so much. I know that it isn't the way forward but it's the only way I can cope. I was diagnosed with BPD last August but haven't told my OH yet... I am finding it hard enough to deal with. It makes me feel as if they are all saying that it's all my own fault. Problem is, the worse I feel, the more secretive I become. As for what happens now I don't know. My need to SH, OD is getting hard to deal with but I won't say anything for fear of them trying to take control. Feels like a no win situation.

Talata
Posts: 62
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:46 pm

Re: don't know *trig

Postby Talata » Thu May 31, 2012 4:37 pm

Hi Marmitr and thank you. The label doesn't bother me. I suppose the idea that you WILL fit in a box gets me down.

muchlove
Posts: 1367
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 10:27 pm

Re: don't know *trig

Postby muchlove » Fri Jun 01, 2012 2:03 pm

I was diagnosed with BPD late last year (although they failed to tell me until march time this year!) I too struggle with this diagnosis, not because I disagree with itt but because of how it gets viewed by professionals and the stigma that is attached to it. I am constantly trying 'not to appear borderline' which has made it more difficult to be honest about how i feel.
I think that pushing you to involve your OH seems a bit unfair, but I can see the value if she is trying to get you to be more honest about what's going on. Does she know how strongly you feel about it? If you're not able to talk to your OH why not just call her next week and try explaining again?
"You may be laying in the gutter but at least you'll be looking up at the stars."

Talata
Posts: 62
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:46 pm

Re: don't know *trig

Postby Talata » Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:07 pm

Thank you so much Marmite and Muchlove for taking the time to write. It makes sense to stand on the box! I think that a lot of my frustration is down to the fact that I was last to know about the diagnosis and found out when a passing comment was made. Then it was 'oh, didn't you know?' Like you said Muchlove, it was hard to get my head round it. My OH works away all week and worries enough about how I'm coping without any more pressure. I've been sectioned a few times, so when I'm low he worries. I hate feeling that I'm not in control-which is a lot of the time at the moment.

Talata
Posts: 62
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:46 pm

Re:thamk you

Postby Talata » Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:01 pm

Thank you so much. Xxxxx. It's hard to say how mich.xxxxx


Return to “Safe Room”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 9 guests