Poems, stories, pictures and other expressive forms.

[amaya]

Thanks for the positive message from the difficult place Rock

[jezabel]

Here's a little poem-cum-rant about my recent experiences of trying to get some mental-health care in Swansea:-

THERE WAS NO HELP AT ALL

They sat, pretending to be kind,
Fake worry upon their face.
"We'll do this" and "we'll do that", they said.
"We're your friends", and
"We'll do all we can to help".
But what they said and what they did
Were not the same at all,
And in fact they did nothing of any use,
But it made them feel good to mouth the words.

He was fobbed-off from one to another,
Each person feigning faux concern,
As they smiled in phony sympathy
At the unfortunate soul before them,
And urged him to take the drugs.

And then, as suddenly as he was ushered in,
He was discarded and shown the door,
Left to flounder like a dying fish
In a dried-up Summer pool.
And, once out of sight, he was out of mind,
Forgotten forever, as the next object
On the conveyor belt arrived
To be examined, poked, and prodded.
No-one cared to follow up
After he'd left their little world,
Although they often contended that they would.
And when he later asked for help,
They showed their true colours,
As they stabbed him in the back,
For it was beneath them to mix with the likes of him
After office hours.

And then, as hometime came, they left,
With their fat paycheque,
For a weekend of binge-vomiting.
They never thought again of the person they had 'helped',
Who was hanging himself in the woods.

But, on Monday after work,
As they ate their takeaway grease,
A small article was noticed
On the paper that wrapped their food.
"Man Found Dead In Woods", it said.
Pausing briefly between cholesterol mouthfuls,
They affected sadness at the death.
"So tragic", "One always slips through the net",
They said of the man they had seen just days before
And had promised to help -
To provide with social workers
And therapy and support.
But these were empty words,
For it was a massive con all round;
The whole charade just a job-creating scam
For the dim and apathetic
And the occasional psychopath.

It was all just smoke and mirrors,
For there was no help at all.

[jezabel]

TIME TO GO

All hope is gone.
Darkness is closing in.
A sliver of light
Above a distant hill
Is fading fast.
There is no sound,
No life.
All joy extinguished,
All birdsong quelled.
All good is gone.
Evil is all around me.
I want no part
Of cold and dark.
It's time to go.

[jezabel]

DEPRESSION

The pain is physical.
The whole body paralysed
And aching;
Groaning under the weight
Of living;
Craving for something,
And for nothing.

Curled up like a foetus,
Wishing I was dead,
Or never born.
Heart pounding,
Head throbbing.
Crying one moment,
Numb the next.

Unable to plan,
Slow to think;
Words don't come,
It's an effort to speak.

All is grey and drab.
Things once enjoyed
Mean nothing now.

There is just noise,
Bright light,
And torment.

Sunshine hurts my eyes,
And darkness is my friend.
But sleep is no relief,
For my dreams are filled
With horrors,
And I wake with awful images
In my mind.

It's a never-ending cycle,
From day to night,
And night to day.

There is no-one,
And there is nothing,
And that is all.

[kittypae]

Frozen Hearing Voices

voice 1
voice 2
voice unknown

all around me
they all see something
but I see nothing at all

tirelessly searching
tireless puzzles
tirelessly awake
and I want sleep.
because I need sleep.
but I lay there alone.

boredom sparks conversations
conversations sparks anger
anger sparks tears
tears sparks sleepless nights.

tirelessly searching
tireless puzzles
tirelessly awake
and I want sleep.
because I need sleep.
but I lay there alone.

voice 1
voice 2
voice unknown

all those sleepless nights
I'm not dreaming
and finally I rest
rest asleep.
counting "1, 2..."
then goodnight, I whisper

[daisye.]

A Mind in Two

Dust
It settles and sits without life
Invisible but unaware of the chaos it can cause
The irritation
The longer it’s left
The more the itch will spread.

One day you wake up
It covers every inch of you
Surfaces surrounded and nothing feels clean
It all looks the same yet coated in neglect.

Open windows to let the new air inside
Unsettled
Everything is unsettled
Chaos rampages in the breath of confusion
Like an explosion it’s everywhere without a second to spare
Racing to find it’s place in it all
Only to find there is no place for it at all.

Brushed away
Surfaces cleansed to keep up the sheen
Almost seems like a distant nightmare
Truth is dust always settles long before we see it build
Slowly suffocating on your self made mess.

The nightmare never ends
Sleep just sank you deep enough
If only for a little while.

-N.E