oh yeah, as for my xmas - all alone! i'm actually kinda looking forward to it - it's going to be my day off from beating myself up over my general shitness as a person and i'm just going to indulge myself. i'm going to watch dvd's (and the eastenders xmas special, YES! my highlight of every year!), i'm going to get drunk on baileys, i'm going to eat chocolate all day long, i'm going to pile on loads of make up and paint my nails - i bought new make-up specially for the day! the only other thing i want to buy is a new pair of high heels because wearing high heels makes me happy, and then i'm just going to sit around the house with loads of make up and heels, shoving chocolate in my gullet, watching depressing german films and getting drunk.
i'm going to pretend it's wartime and my husband is away on the front line and that i'm glamourous and tragic, rather than depressed and unwashed.