Hi guys i have been struggling with my mental health since the age of 10 when i first tried to kill my self i am now 26 and married but its been a hell of a journey full of near death experiances but Poetry has always been my healthy way to cope and does what no razor blade or tablet ever has and thats given me a sense of calm i have been pursing my entire life.
So heres a few poems id love some feed back
Title Healer of Hearts:
There is nothing left to say the devil i must pay
try as i may i was met with dismay and pain
come snow or rain every day is a drain
the grey skies i saw every time i opened my eyes
memories and hallucinations being helpless as my father dies
my cries echo in my room and i feel the impending doom
i never used to have a reason for living the razor blade
was never forgiving each cut led to a scar and another drink at the bar
or popping pills knowing which one kills overdosing when i could
and felt like i should see i was abused and used for so long
it was too hard to be strong and before long i was doing wrong
taking drugs as my father shrugs i ignored his advice more than twice
it was just a roll of the dice i never thought i would be happy at all
but they say you have to fall before you stand tall in this case its true
and baby i write this for you through thick and thin you made me feel
comfortable in my own skin and always make me grin despite knowing
my every sin you gave me a chance at love like a angel sent from above
to take my hand and watch together as the sea washes away the sand
your my everything and the minute i gave you that ring i never felt my
heart beat so fast wishing that this moment would always last
the seconds it took you to say yes felt like hours maybe cause i didint do
anything fancy like buy flowers i wanted to keep it plain but you invaded my brain
never have i felt so loved after being bullied pushed and shoved i put up a wall
and felt so small now and for ever after i promise you happiness and laughter
fairy tales are real and my heart was always yours to steal you helped me heal
and gave me a resolve and self confidence made from steel words cant express how i feel
title The Vultures Of Shadows;
From wanting to die waking up from nightmares and only being capable of breaking down and cry lacking confidence and being shy looking to god asking for a reason why and the more you try the more you figure out normality is a lie no one is perfect every one has bad days we just cope in different ways.
Life is just a game its to short to be spent looking to fit in or searching for fame its a shame how many kids are brainwashed and have their dreams squashed media and popular culture is nothing but a vulture seeking its prey and when the skies turn to grey what more can i say hold onto that memory of the suns ray and fight until the next day.
I remember thinking that taking drugs and drinking was the way to cope but it soon led to cutting and hanging from a rope i hope every one reading will never know what its like for your father to find you bleeding or passed out on your bedroom floor only waking to utter the words i don't want to live any more.
Years have past and i am happy at last good things don't come fast but death is a permanent choice in this world you need to find a voice request aid and your cuts will soon fade forget about the decisions you made rejoice to be alive and begin to strive to smile its worth while and if you lucky enough to find true love you may start believing in angels above i know i have found mine and she allows me to shine and i,ll always be fine as long as shes in my life and i can not wait to make her my wife.
Death awaits us all even the strongest and the rich will fall but i can stand tall and no longer feel small my shadow follows me always as i walk down the devils hallways some times i get the urge to kill just to experience the thrill i imagine the blood beginning to spill and thats when i take a pill to balance out my rage and put the demons back in their cage anger dwells within and we all have the ability to commit a sin but when i see her pale skin my heats beats fast i have found my soul mate at last she is my everything and now ive blessed her with a ring i am her king shes my queen helping me forget the things i have seen.