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Re: Rick's Journal
Posted: Sun Aug 06, 2017 7:12 am
We will be talking about loss of friends where they essentially no longer want to hang out with us. There are many paths we have to take and some of them are lonely. We won't have people there to support us. We won't have friends who are understanding and accept us for who are. Instead, we have friends who tells us that we cannot do it and we should give up.
These are people we generally want to stay away. By staying with them, their negative thoughts and beliefs also spread to you. Now, this doesn't make losing them any easier. Loneliness is tough. As a loner for my entire life, I know the emptiness when I have no one to talk to regarding anything. It seems like I'm just wandering aimlessly as I struggle to find my future.
The path of loneliness does have its benefits. It teaches us how to become more confident and more independent. For instance, I liked group projects in high school where I can do what I'm comfortable with while others could do what they're comfortable with. As a result, I'm not getting out of my comfort zone and, in a world that's constantly changing, I'm basically falling behind due to a lack of skill sets needed to make me a success.
We must also remember that loneliness is temporary. There are so many people out there and nobody can stop us from making new friends. Sure, you can be an introvert like me but that's just an excuse. As we do what we enjoy and love, we will find people who have something in common with us. Then, we don't even need to go out of our way to make friends. The friendship just forms naturally without those awkward moments. We all had moments where we clicked with a person we knew almost nothing about. These connections do exist.
Remember that losing friends isn't the end of the world. Those people aren't worth your time and effort. If they are your true friends, they won't abandon you during the toughest parts of your life. If you stop seeing them results in them not contacting you again, it's a good sign that you need better friends. Better friends are out there but they won't just show up. You must go on the journey you are meant for and, along the way, you will find them. Essentially, you are losing the bad friends to make room for good friends.
Re: Rick's Journal
Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2017 7:44 am
Exclusion is basically barring someone from a place or a group. I will be tying this to anxiety and depression. To use my own experience, I will refer to the time when I was livestreaming regularly. I was just talking about anxiety and focusing heavily on the time when I was suicidal. I was just discussing my thoughts on the matter regarding my mental state at the time.
Two people showed up in chat and these were basically the two things they brought up. First, they called me an attention seeker. They claimed I'm using anxiety to attract viewers and use drama to get the attention I need. Secondly, they literally told me to kill myself since it would make it easier for me. They suggested that it would be all over if I just ended my life.
These responses saddened me greatly. Mental illnesses aren't taken seriously and many people see these call for help as attention seeking. I'm one of the fortunate ones to have failed but there are people out there who haven't. Yet, their stories would never be known since they are essentially unknown in society, possibly just another number in a stat few people care about.
Words can hurt people more than most believe they can. I managed to develop thick skin for these as, being my biggest critic, I had said much worse things. As a result, these people must be more original if they want to get a laugh out of me. With these people out on social media and various parts of internet, people either remain silent or seek help by going to forums where they wouldn't be judged.
Being part of a few forums and some social media, I learned that my experience wasn't unique. People with anxiety and depression are made fun of and aren't taken serious of. A common thing men suffering mental illness hear is to man up. If this was so easy, mental illness wouldn't be such a serious issue. Yet, the stigma we face with mental illness means this keeps happening.
These sort of actions create these barriers where those suffering from real issues feel like they don't belong. It's another form of exclusion where we feel like we aren't normal and don't belong to the society we're in. To avoid this exclusion, we often remain silent because we don't want to be seen as different. Many of us even go long lengths to change ourselves in order to fit it and avoid this exclusion.
Re: Rick's Journal
Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 3:46 am
Exclusion generally happens when a group sees someone who is too different and don't want this person. In a society where mental illnesses isn't very understood, those of us suffering from mental illness feel like we don't belong. Even talking about the issue results in a number of unfavorable situations like being called attention seeker so our call for help goes unnoticed.
Human beings want to find a place where they belong. They are social animals who are afraid of being alone. This could be due to our ancestors where, due to many dangerous predators, there is strength in numbers. Nowadays, going alone doesn't have the same consequences as in the past but it's difficulty to overcome what has basically been part of our instincts.
Many of us, facing the prospect of exclusion and loneliness due to our mental illnesses, usually take two paths. First, we choose the path of silence where we don't discuss our issues. We bottle it up inside of us hoping others cannot see it so they won't notice it. Sadly, bottling up the negative thoughts and emotions lets them eat us from within until there's nothing left.
Secondly, we change who we are. We change how we act, how we dress, how we look and anything that could improve our chance of fitting into a group. We put on this mask which allows us to fit into groups where we finally feel like we belong somewhere. Yet, there will be moments where our masks have cracks and people will notice. They will then abandon you nonetheless as they had seen the real you andee only accepted the you with the mask on.
Remember that bottling everything up isn't an option. There are others facing similar challenges so you can find them if you look. In addition, you shouldn't change yourself as this doesn't help you. Be yourself and, if you are lonely, go elsewhere. Explore the world and go on journeys that will bring you in contact of people who will be there whenever you need them. We face many challenges in life already so we don't need more by being false to ourselves.
Re: Rick's Journal
Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 9:04 pm
Exclusion isn't necessarily a bad thing. This happens when you are different which, in our society, is often portrayed as something bad. Different is associated with outcast and someone who isn't part of the norm. Yet, we must look at the successful people in our society today who have found success other people could only dream of but could never hope to achieve.
This makes these successful people different but we don't view this as bad. Therefore, you being excluded means you are destined for greatness. You are different because you are given different tools, thoughts and dreams than other people. What you possess will get you success others people can only dream of. Does your difference still appear so negative now?
Many of the successful people also got scoffed at and excluded in the past. Many of them were excluded as they were seen as too radical and too weird. Instead of letting these hold them down and forcing them to become someone they're not, these people kept going with their ideas and dreams until they achieved a situation where they couldn't care what the critics say.
What's stopping you from finding similar success? You might be excluded and have no friends. Yet, these factors won't stop you from achieving new heights. The lonely road will make you stronger as long as you stay true to your journey following a dream only you can see. The only person who can stop you from completing this journey is you.
Don't see exclusion as something bad. You probably outgrown where you are spending most of your time. These people aren't those you want to befriend. Sure, they want to be your friends when you find success but they will keep their distance during your lows in life. Better accept loneliness as a gift that will make you more than ordinary than stay with people who fear what you are capable of. In addition, the exclusion saves you the trouble from needing to rid these people later on in life.
Re: Rick's Journal
Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 5:34 am
I have personal experience with falling behind where I'm struggling with my studies while the others seem to be doing very well. They are either graduating or close to graduating with jobs lined up. I don't even know when I'll be graduating so you can probably understand why I'm feeling discouraged. As a result, I started making excuses and playing the blame game for why this is happening to me.
After experiencing life, watching videos and learning more about myself, I realized that I haven't really fallen behind. These are just stumbles in life that happens to everyone. However, making excuses and playing the blame game was making me fall behind because these were how I was spending my time. Time, as we all know, is a valuable resource which isn't renewable.
We all have hopes and dreams. To achieve our dreams, we need a certain number of small steps and I'll use a million small steps for this example. Since there are no shortcuts, we cannot take a thousand small steps to reach our dreams. To simplify things, let's say we need hard work and time to make our dream a reality. Everyone can work hard to meet the steps needed.
If I was too busy making excuses and pitying myself, I'm essentially investing no time in the pursuit of my dreams. This is time I won't ever get back which means that, the more time I waste, the less likely I'll be able to reach my dreams. I'm not saying it's impossible but it gets even more difficult the later it gets. Therefore, the wiser approach is to make the best use of my time now and start taking these small steps.
Failing in studies isn't falling behind. Stumbling in our journey is part of life and life was never really a race. We all have different paths to walk so even something like comparing with others is a waste of time. The best use of time is focusing on the road ahead of us, steel ourselves during the challenges and invest every bit of it on the dreams we always had.
Re: Rick's Journal
Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 6:34 am
-Falling Behind 2-
In our society, it seems like we are living a very fast paced life. We also want instant gratification where we don't want to wait for something good to happen. Due to these factors, I can actually see falling behind being a good thing. Instead of racing with others to the destination, we can take a moment to look around our surrounding and admire the beauty of it.
The journey is always more important than destination. The journey also has numerous lessons we need to learn before we can reach newer heights in life. If we rush through the journey, we miss those valuable lessons and later look back wondering what we missed. Since time flows only one way, we won't get to experience the same journey again so we won't have a second chance at obtaining all the skills to tap into our full potential.
It's true that falling behind is tough. We see the backs of other people who are sprinting into the distance to their definition of success. Yet, we will stumble in life and sometimes we don't get back immediately. During this struggle to get up on our feet, we take a moment to get our breath back and a quick glance around made us realized that we missed so much of what life can truly offer us.
Sure, we can gain a lot of information on social media and google. Yet, these can never rival what we can experience in real life. We can easily forget something we read online but the experiences we have stick with us. Even if we cannot recollect the details, the experience will always have a place in our memory and it can be brought out at various moments in our lives.
When I was falling behind, life actually had something planned for me. It allowed me to do a month of door to door sales. This changes my life and taught me more about life than all of the school I've taken up to that point which is closing in on fifteen years. Therefore, falling behind is just a way life tells us that we have other paths to take. If we are daring enough to take advantage of the opportunities, we will find ourselves surpassing the other people in no time.
Re: Rick's Journal
Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:04 pm
We all want to believe we have a purpose in life. We are here for a reason and something great is waiting for us to accomplish. We usually think about our purpose when we experience the lowest point of our life. When I was depressed and suicidal, I thought and honestly believed that I don't have a purpose in life. The world wouldn't change if I left as though it could go forward without me even existing.
I even had the belief that the world would be a better place without me using up resources. I'm sure a lot of people have similar experiences when they face anxiety and depression. They wonder why they are existing on this world. However, I now believe that everyone have a purpose. People have great potential and possess a gift that would enable them to do the seemingly impossible.
The main issue with this purpose and gift is that we struggle to discover it. Things like education can bar us from discovering our true purpose. Let's use our schools as an example. Schools teach us to not make mistakes, get good grade until we get a diploma or degree and work until we retire. Society makes it so any path that doesn't follow education is seen as foolish.
As a result, many people don't unlock their potential. These people might do well at school but there is something they could do better. When we are told that school is the only way for success, we become too terrified to do something different that's out of our comfort zone. Now, there are people who do find success after going to school and doing what society praise as the norm. Yet, this isn't the path for everyone.
Regardless of whether we feel down or happy, we must find our purpose. Once we find it, we will know what we excel at. Things we can do better than other people. Things other might believe is impossible but, since this is a gift we are given, we can accomplish and change the world to make it a better place!
Re: Rick's Journal
Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2017 4:52 am
We all want to find our purpose but we wonder how we can do so. One method that usually doesn't work is searching on the internet for answers. There might be a lot of information on the internet but it's just so easy for us to experience information overload. We also become overwhelmed as we see so many opportunities out there. We start dreaming about what we can do and dreams don't come true by dreaming alone.
I believe people must see more of the world if they want to find their purpose. If you lack the budget to see other parts of the world or another part of your country, you should explore you own city or town. There are rich histories that probably isn't well known. Go to a library and look at older newspapers to see what sort of secrets are hidden from much of the public.
Doing something out of your comfort zone is another method. If you haven't found your purpose from your immediate environment, it might not be available from where you are at. Be bold and, when you succeed, you build more confidence. Too often, people lack confidence to pursue their dreams even when they know this dream is what's needed to make them happy. Start building confidence so that, when you discover your dream, you can pursue it without hesitation.
Therefore, you shouldn't always remain indoors when there's so much to see outdoors. Don't always sit in front of your computer unless your purpose and dream involves game designing or software programmer or anything requiring a computer. We don't experience by reading things on a monitor. We only experience by doing something, talking to people and making mistakes that teach us valuable lessons. Go out there and know that opportunities and special people are there waiting to meet you.
Re: Rick's Journal
Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:40 pm
We define purpose differently and here's how I define it. There are a few requirements before you know you found your purpose. First, a purpose is tough and doesn't become a reality until time and effort had been invested into it. We all know the saying of easy come easy go. The same applies to purpose where, if you lower the bar and it comes true very quickly, you began to wonder if there's more to life.
Secondly, a purpose must be something you enjoy and are passionate about. It must be something you truly believe in and no one could convince you otherwise. If this isn't the case, then you will likely give up when the going gets tough. If life taught us anything, it's that things don't normally go our way and our resolve and determination are tested often. You shouldn't be dissuaded from your purpose ever regardless of the situation.
Thirdly, our purpose should affect a lot more people. We see people with goals like being rich so they can afford all the bells and whistles. There's a lot more to life than wealth. If you can do something that helps other people like getting them out of poverty or give them hope during their darkest moments, you will find those moments much more fulfilling than having more money than you know how to spend.
Purpose also doesn't have to be something incredible. Our society portray people who found their purpose as those millionaires or billionaires or people who are fighting things like poverty. Yet, purpose doesn't have to be at such an enormous scale. It could be something small but impactful. One example I can think of is creating a stronger community where you live.
There are communities out there where people don't necessarily know their neighbors. Other than exchanges of a few greetings, neighbors don't interact with one another. Someone could change that by ways like organizing a barbecue and inviting all the neighbors. You are letting them know one another more and create stronger bonds. This results in a stronger community where people will support each other during the tough moments in life.
Now, this won't show up in the news or be well-known across the world but it can be impactful. We shouldn't underestimate how small gestures can change the world. A better community see people more positive and positivity can spread further at workplaces or other locations outside the community. If we have a million of these small changes, we can see a larger impact on the world as a whole. Remember that our purpose might not make us famous but it can improve the world in ways we cannot imagine!
Re: Rick's Journal
Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 9:18 pm
Sleep is sort of a weird topic but I can see it tie closely with success, purpose and how we live our lives. There are many people who watch motivational videos like me and we no doubt come across some videos where the speaker tell us that we should sacrifice sleep for a dream. They say that, if it's big enough of a dream, we should put more time and effort into it.
I personally can run off five to six hours of sleep a day where I remain somewhat productive. There are definitely people out there who can run on less sleep. For me, I don't see myself able to function with less sleep than five hours. I just start dozing off as my body complains and no amount of willpower, at least none I have discovered, can gets me to overcome dozing off.
I believe that, at the very least, we should try to avoid oversleeping. During the weekends, we might be tempted to remain in bed, especially during the dark winter days where it's warmer in bed. However, the extra sleep doesn't necessarily help us. I find myself becoming more drowsy when I oversleep and don't even feel rested. Therefore, we don't need to sleep in as seven to eight hours is about the most we need. Anymore and we will be cutting into time we can use to pursue other things in life.
Now, we must find a balance between sleep and work. When we are young, we can stay up late studying for exams. If we do this regularly and even later when we are working, we get into a habit that will affect our physical health. When we get older, we'll develop various problems because we didn't take better care of ourselves when we were younger. After all, we feel invincible when we are younger.
The reason why we sought out our purpose and pursue our dreams is to achieve happiness. Yet, we cannot find happiness when we are sick all the time. How positive can we be when we have a terrible headache and struggling to recover? If you can push yourself when you are young, you should do so. Yet, keep in mind that the body shouldn't be neglected. We shouldn't be so focused on making our dream come sooner that we lose sight of how we still need our bodies to enjoy the bright future we create for ourselves.