For this entry, I want to discuss about myself. Not just my thoughts but a bit about the decisions I have made and will make that will have enormous impact on my future. I, like everyone else, have made poor decisions in the past. I regretted those at one point but, currently, I'm grateful of making those decisions. You might think I'm a little crazy to think that way but I'll explain what I mean.
The poor decision that has been very much on my mind is going to university. For many people, this is a no brainer since higher education should open up more doors. Yet, we must remember some important things about education. There are currently a lot of students going to school, whether university or college, and the job opportunities out there is limited.
We are living in a society where there's a lot of competition for job, especially the better jobs. With so much competition, companies will only hire the best candidates they have and, for those fresh from university, grades are the primary comparison. I didn't have the best grades so, when I searched for internship, I was among the few who was out of luck.
With grades dropping steadily and no internment could be found, I was doubting my decision to go to university. I have reason to do so since I learned now that school can only teach certain subjects. Not everyone can thrive in a classroom setting and I'm one of those who stood a better chance with other decisions. Interestingly, these doubts have opened up doors I originally thought a piece of paper from graduating will.
I discovered things I am strong at aren't taught at school, at least not in the university I'm going. This puts me at a rather awkward situation. I have invested a lot into school with plenty of school debt and am somewhat close to finishing. Yet, I no longer have the same desire as I no longer see the piece of paper as my key to unlocking a bright future. I spent a lot of time thinking over my decisions because, this time, I want to pick one that I want.
At a position where the future has much to be desired, it might seem easier to abandon and start anew. That sounds nice but I do want to finish school. I have abandon too many things in the past so I'm worried that, if I do it again, I'll get into a bad habit. As I attend school, I will be pursuing the dream of fighting against mental illness stigma and other things that seem too big to tackle. I know I have big dreams but someone has to make them possible.
This decision hasn't come easy. I never liked school and going back hasn't been especially fun. I just have to tolerate it so I can give it a proper finish. Meanwhile, I can use this to learn time management. School doesn't teach you the best way to manage time until you also have a dream to pursue. I think the lack of dreams had been why I felt so lost and the days at school felt nothing more than torture without an end in sight. At least now, I have something to look forward to each day.