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Rick's Journal

For poetry, art, writing, music - your own or others'
rick-amateur
Posts: 89
Joined: Sun Jul 09, 2017 3:43 am

Re: Rick's Journal

Postby rick-amateur » Sun Feb 04, 2018 1:54 am

-Decisions 2-

In our lives, we'll make the good and poor decisions. There's no way of avoiding the poor decisions because the only way for us to improve the skill is through experience. It's true we will stumble along the way but we will become stronger if we learned why we stumbled and don't make the same mistakes a second or third time. Poor decisions, however, can be a double edged sword.

Poor decisions can teach us what not to do the next time. It shows us what doesn't work so we can change our approach the next time and achieve a better result. Yet, it can also paralyze us by clouding our judgement because we felt too much pain or suffering. The negative emotions like sadness, anger and helplessness tend to linger longer than the positive emotions. As a result, we get reminded regularly whenever we make poor decisions, especially those with large impact on our lives.

I like to use the example of marriage. Let's say I met a woman who I thought was perfect. I saw this person as my other half and she believed the same. We got married a month later and, a year later, we had our first children. Then, things went downhill as we got into fight regularly since we possess flaws the other person couldn't tolerate. I might also be struggling financial with the birth of the child so my temper is getting worse. Things got so bad that we got divorced.

Divorce brings a lot of emotions in our lives. I'd likely feel emptiness in losing both a wife and a child who's most likely been given custody to the mother. I'm also financially worse with the divorce. At this point in life, I could easily develop a view where I oppose anymore serious relationships from that point. Whenever I had decisions regarding relationship, I'll also decide on the option opposing it regardless if it's good or not. This might see me truly miss out on the woman who I needed in my life.

The negative emotions and pain can cloud our judgement. It's true we must learn from our past but, when making serious decisions, we must give all the options a fair overview. Whenever we jump to a certain conclusion without thought, we are hurting ourselves by denying things and people that could change our live positively in a big way. Poor decisions should make us wiser, not more impulsive on certain matters.

rick-amateur
Posts: 89
Joined: Sun Jul 09, 2017 3:43 am

Re: Rick's Journal

Postby rick-amateur » Mon Feb 12, 2018 3:10 am

-Decisions 3-

In the last entry, I talked about how negative emotions and pain can cloud our judgement. To avoid these happening again, we choose to run away. If we ever have to make a decision similar to the one that brought us suffering, we choose to avoid it altogether. After all, no one likes getting hurt and it's seen from a simple example of us staying away from a hot stove after getting burned once.

Still, we must learn from our past experiences and the poor decisions usually teach us the best life lessons we need to get ahead. We should be learning these lessons so, next time we take a similar route, we know what to avoid. When we avoid these opportunities altogether, we might regret later on when we learned someone else found success taking a path we wanted but was too afraid to tread.

Let's use the example I used last entry where I met this perfect woman and got married after a month. For this scenario, a month is way too short. We didn't know each other well enough and marriage is a long-term commitment, something the two of us failed to realize until a kid was given birth and cracks showed in the marriage. I was quite likely to be worse off financially which might see me oppose relationships altogether.

I shouldn't let this experience stop me from starting a family that will remain intact for decades. I probably would have realized that one month of dating is too soon. A few years would be a better alternative as we learn more about each other. We have strengths and weaknesses and it's usually the weaknesses we must tolerate to keep the divorce at bay. By learning this important lesson, my odds of another failed marriage would drop drastically, though there's still risk as life is still unpredictable.

This is the case for everything in life. We must dig deeper than the surface to uncover what went wrong. A failed business might have us look at our cash flow and business plan. Failing a course might have us look at our routines, habits and our attitude towards learning. When we can dig deeper and find out the real reasons as to why the unfavorable outcome happened, we become better suited to tackle future challenges. That's how we learn in life and how we can strive to reach the stars!

rick-amateur
Posts: 89
Joined: Sun Jul 09, 2017 3:43 am

Re: Rick's Journal

Postby rick-amateur » Sun Feb 18, 2018 4:03 am

-Decisions 4-

This entry, I want to discuss about making our own decisions. This might seem a little odd so I want to explain what I meant by this. In our lives, we are either too busy pleasing other people or trying to reach certain expectations placed on us. The expectations can be from those we love like parents or from society as whole. What's happening is essentially us shaping our decisions to match these outside influences.

I myself had this situation happened to me when I decided to go to university. My parents had wanted me to go to university since I was very young. They never even considered alternatives like colleges or trade school so, for them, university was the only option. Trying my best to meet their expectations, I made the decision thinking that I was in control and this was what I truly wanted.

For my life before that decision, I was very much not in control of my life. My decisions were heavily influenced by my parents and, while it seems like I had choices in life, I was limited to the few my parents decided for me. Considering that their advice haven't really cost me much other than a few minor setbacks, I kept going expecting things to continue being alright.

A few years into university, I found failure and major setbacks. Anxiety and a bit of depression was setting in which had me started wondering what went wrong. Like everyone else, I looked back into my past to search for my answers. In my search, I discovered that many of the decisions were too heavily influenced by my parents. I hardly listened to what I wanted and felt that my parents had led me down this wrong path.

I could've blamed my parents and I did for a short while. Yet, I learned that this was a learning experience for me. From this point onward, I'll make my own decisions and limit the influence of other people and society as a whole. We are in such a need of conform to the standards of society that we neglect to ask us what we truly desire. We are willing to kill our dreams as long as we fit into society, not knowing that the death of our dreams will only send us down a path of endless pain and suffering.

For those still living with parents, I recommend thinking for yourself what you want. I mean asking yourself questions without wondering about the thoughts or advice of other people in your family. We need to come up with a choice that is solely our own. Then, we compare it with what is given to us due to outside influence. Then, it becomes your decision whether or not to follow your own heart and go with what others expect of you. With this approach, you at least have no one to blame if you stray down the wrong path. Then, you can take responsibility later in life and know how to learn from your mistakes.


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