This entry, I want to discuss about making our own decisions. This might seem a little odd so I want to explain what I meant by this. In our lives, we are either too busy pleasing other people or trying to reach certain expectations placed on us. The expectations can be from those we love like parents or from society as whole. What's happening is essentially us shaping our decisions to match these outside influences.
I myself had this situation happened to me when I decided to go to university. My parents had wanted me to go to university since I was very young. They never even considered alternatives like colleges or trade school so, for them, university was the only option. Trying my best to meet their expectations, I made the decision thinking that I was in control and this was what I truly wanted.
For my life before that decision, I was very much not in control of my life. My decisions were heavily influenced by my parents and, while it seems like I had choices in life, I was limited to the few my parents decided for me. Considering that their advice haven't really cost me much other than a few minor setbacks, I kept going expecting things to continue being alright.
A few years into university, I found failure and major setbacks. Anxiety and a bit of depression was setting in which had me started wondering what went wrong. Like everyone else, I looked back into my past to search for my answers. In my search, I discovered that many of the decisions were too heavily influenced by my parents. I hardly listened to what I wanted and felt that my parents had led me down this wrong path.
I could've blamed my parents and I did for a short while. Yet, I learned that this was a learning experience for me. From this point onward, I'll make my own decisions and limit the influence of other people and society as a whole. We are in such a need of conform to the standards of society that we neglect to ask us what we truly desire. We are willing to kill our dreams as long as we fit into society, not knowing that the death of our dreams will only send us down a path of endless pain and suffering.
For those still living with parents, I recommend thinking for yourself what you want. I mean asking yourself questions without wondering about the thoughts or advice of other people in your family. We need to come up with a choice that is solely our own. Then, we compare it with what is given to us due to outside influence. Then, it becomes your decision whether or not to follow your own heart and go with what others expect of you. With this approach, you at least have no one to blame if you stray down the wrong path. Then, you can take responsibility later in life and know how to learn from your mistakes.